Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?

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Many individuals believe that

sports

Use synonyms

like boxing, judo, karate etc promote violence and should not be played or watched by children.

Moreover

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, they should be banned from international competitions. As far as my opinion is concerned, I completely disagree with the statement and strongly favour these

sports

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, I will provide its justifications in upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

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with,

sports

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like boxing and martial arts are extremely important for our children to learn and continue the process. There are several reasons for

this

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Firstly

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, martial arts are not for violence but to protect humanity and individuals from bad society.

Moreover

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, many schools and colleges teach these

sports

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specifically to their girls so they can protect themselves from eve-teasers or other criminal activities.

For example

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, a girl recently received a bravery award from the Indian Government to protect her friend from a boy who was about to commit a crime, she was a black belt champion.

This

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example is enough to prove that these

sports

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do not promote violence but promote

self defence

Add a hyphen

self-defence

show examples

and strengthen the children.

Furthermore

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, these

sports

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help to build many defence forces within the nation and society. Many of them are used to provide training to the military forces to protect themself in case of any attack.

In addition

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, many people generate jobs for themself in the field of security agents etc.

For instance

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, people after their career in

sports

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join different jobs as security agents for many big agencies and government officials as they already have the skills required to protect themselves and others.

However

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, one can use them for negative purposes as well but there are strong policies available by the government and efforts are made to strengthen them as well.

Therefore

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, it reflects the need for these

sports

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and banning them from TV and international competitions will harm many jobs and skills.

To conclude

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, I would assert that,

sports

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like boxing, judo, karate and other martial arts provide many benefits and job opportunities to the participants and motivation to viewers. If maintained with efficient policies, they should not banned.

hiteshpaulTue Dec 26 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay needs a more clear and coherent structure. It is essential to have a logical flow of ideas and paragraphs that are well-connected and seamlessly transition from one point to the next. Use a variety of linking words and ensure each paragraph remains focused on a single main idea.

task achievement

You should ensure all parts of the task are adequately addressed. While your essay did provide examples, it could benefit from a more thorough exploration of the points raised in the question. Every assertion should be supported by relevant, detailed examples and explanations that directly pertain to the question's topic.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

344 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

combat sports
glorification of violence
impressionable audiences
cultural heritage
self-discipline
sportsmanship
media portrayal
regulatory measures
censorship
psychological impact
broadcasting regulations
watershed timing
advocates and opponents
ethical considerations
economic implications

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Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is the job of governments and companies is to deal with the huge environmental problems which we face. Individuals on their own can do little or nothing. What is your opinion about this statement?

In the modern world. it is no longer neccesary to use animals as food and in other products like clothing and medicines. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Children spend a lot of time watching TV and playing computer game, however it does not help in improving their mental abilities. Do you agree or disagree?

Sport is always relevant in our time, sport is our life in general.