IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

more and more people are consuming fast food. what are the reasons for this and how this problem can be tackled.

Increasing numbers of people around the globe are opting for fast
food
Use synonyms
. The primary reason behind
this
Linking Words
 trend is the easy availability and lower
prices
Use synonyms
 of
such
Linking Words
 foods. But
this
Linking Words
 issue can be addressed by the government through education about the side effects of fast
food
Use synonyms
 and by increasing
prices
Use synonyms
 through higher taxation on
such
Linking Words
 products. The consumption of fast
food
Use synonyms
 has increased
due to
Linking Words
 its relatively low cost and widespread availability. Fast-
food
Use synonyms
 chains reduce unit costs by purchasing ingredients in bulk. These products often rely on processed,
subsidized
Change the spelling
subsidised
show examples
 components that are less expensive to produce and store than fresh
food
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, fast
food
Use synonyms
 is highly accessible
due to
Linking Words
 its dense distribution and strategic locations in urban and suburban areas, including near schools, workplaces, and major roads. Drive-thru services
further
Linking Words
 facilitate convenient access. In Canada,
for instance
Linking Words
, chains
such
Linking Words
 as Tim Hortons and McDonald's are present in most commercial plazas and offer
food
Use synonyms
 at comparatively affordable
prices
Use synonyms
. To tackle the problem of increased fast-
food
Use synonyms
 consumption, the government can play a key role by raising awareness of the ill effects of fast
food
Use synonyms
 through publishing articles in newspapers and free advertising on TV and radio.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, authorities can raise taxes on unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
, thereby increasing their
prices
Use synonyms
 and eventually discouraging individuals from buying them.
For example
Linking Words
, in India, fast
food
Use synonyms
 like McDonald's is far more expensive than in other countries
due to
Linking Words
 high taxes.
Hence
Linking Words
, only a limited number of people can afford them.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the majority of the population opt for fast
food
Use synonyms
 because of its convenience and lower
prices
Use synonyms
, but the government can address
this
Linking Words
 problem by raising awareness of its side effects and increasing taxes, which encourage men and women to eat healthier
food
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

content
Add more facts or numbers to back up your points.
language
Keep sentences short and clear; avoid long, hard words.
structure
Use simple linking words to show how ideas go together, so the reader can follow.
structure
A clear plan with cause and fix.
content
Good use of real place examples.
style
Easy to read and well set out.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: