IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that modern life is generally close to the ideal, while others think it needs to be significantly improved. What is your opinion?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that living standards have improved significantly
due to
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 advances in technology, healthcare, and economic development. Some people believe that modern
life
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 is already close to the ideal,
while
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 others argue that it still requires considerable improvement.
Although
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 some may support the idea that modern
life
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 is nearly ideal, I am convinced that it still needs to be improved for several reasons, which will be examined in
this
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 essay. One of the most apparent reasons is that despite progress, many social and environmental problems remain unresolved. To illustrate, issues
such
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 as income inequality, pollution, and limited access to healthcare continue to affect millions of people worldwide.
For instance
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,
while
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 some populations benefit from advanced technology and comfortable living conditions, others still struggle with poverty and inadequate public services, suggesting that modern
life
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 is far from ideal for everyone. Another point that should not be overlooked is that modern lifestyles often create new challenges that did not exist in the past. To clarify, increased work pressure, digital dependence, and fast-paced urban living can negatively affect mental health and social relationships.
For example
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, many people experience stress, loneliness, and work–
life
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 imbalance despite living in economically developed societies, which indicates that material progress alone does not guarantee
overall
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 well-being. To recapitulate, it is evident that
although
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 modern
life
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 offers many benefits
such
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 as technological progress and improved living standards, serious social and personal challenges still exist.
Therefore
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, I believe that modern
life
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 cannot yet be considered close to ideal and requires continued efforts to improve equality, environmental protection, and
overall
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 quality of
life
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.

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task response
Your answer has a clear view of the issue and keeps the idea through the essay.
support
Use more proof for each idea. Add short facts or exact notes to make points stronger.
coherence
Link ideas with easy words and phrases to improve flow, such as also, and then, however.
structure
Each paragraph should start with one clear idea or topic sentence and stay on that idea.
conclusion
Finish with a short end that restates your view and sums up your main points.
language
Check small words and spellings to keep the language as easy as possible.
task response
Clear view on the issue at the start and kept in the essay
structure
Good order of ideas with one reason per paragraph
coherence
Useful linking words that help flow
content
Examples show life problems and mental health
conclusion
Conclusion restates view and ends the essay
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adherents
  • predictability
  • responsibilities
  • productivity
  • reduces stress
  • eliminating
  • prioritize
  • spontaneity
  • creativity
  • rigid
  • explore new opportunities
  • adapt to unexpected situations
  • personal growth
  • fulfilling life
  • general structure
  • efficiency
  • predictability
  • creativity
  • adaptability
  • structured routine
  • maintaining order
  • flexibility
  • exploration
  • unpredictability
  • balanced approach
  • professional growth
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