IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of runs scored by the Hawks and the Rockets in five baseball playoff games.

The bar chart delineates key information regarding the scores for various games in
baseball
Correct article usage
a baseball
show examples
 tournament between
Use synonyms
Hawks
Correct article usage
the Hawks
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
Rockets
Correct article usage
the Rockets
show examples
. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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Hawks
Use synonyms
 displayed a notable
dominancy
Correct your spelling
dominance
 against
Use synonyms
Rockets
Correct article usage
the Rockets
show examples
 in 3 games,
whereas
Linking Words
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 lost
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 2 games with a slight
difference
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
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 2 and 5,
Hawks
Use synonyms
 created a large gap, scoring 9 and 7 respectively against
Rockets
Use synonyms
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 opponent only accounted for 6 and 2 goals in
meantime
Correct article usage
the meantime
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
game
Use synonyms
 number 3,
rivals
Correct article usage
the rivals
show examples
 faced
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strong competition with each other
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the match ended 7-6 in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
Hawks
Correct article usage
the Hawks
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Rockets
Correct article usage
the Rockets
show examples
 only made a significant
difference
Use synonyms
 in the fourth
game
Use synonyms
 by winning the
game
Use synonyms
 8-5
comprising
Punctuation problem
, comprising
show examples
 3
goals
Correct your spelling
3-goal
difference
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 in the first
game
Use synonyms
Rockets
Use synonyms
 experienced difficulty and could score 4 goals against to
Hawks
Use synonyms
 and made 1
goal
Correct your spelling
1-goal
difference
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hawks, rockets, difference, game with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rockets" was used 5 times.
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