Some people believe that saving money imprtant. Do you agree with that? Support your opinion with reasons

It is true that saving
money
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in
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apply
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these days has become extremely important. I completely agree with
this
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view because it is essential for individuals around the world.
However
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,
this
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essay will explain why I agree with
this
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perspective
,
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apply
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and the reasons for my agreement. One main reason to agree with
this
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idea is that saving
money
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has become essential to avoid hard days.
For example
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, many people face emergency
helth
Correct your spelling
health
cases during their life.
As a
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result
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result,
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they need financial
support
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to have good
helth
Correct your spelling
health
.
Moreover
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, some people need to buy a new car or a home when they become old
and
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, and
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once they have to do these, they have to spend
money
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,
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;
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even
they
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if they
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can take
a
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apply
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financial
support
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from banks, it  will cost them more than saving
money
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, and in some
cases
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cases,
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they may not
allowed
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be allowed
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to get
support
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. Another reason to agree with
this
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is that the fact of giving the children a chance to improve their skills and complete
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
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as well.
For example
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, completing studies has become expensive, and important to get a job in many countries, and one impact of
this
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is that you have to be ready for
this
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, and the only way to
being
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be
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ready for giving your children financial
support
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is saving your
money
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.
Moreover
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, if your children need to improve their skills by joining
to
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apply
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courses that help them
to
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apply
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develop their skills, they will need
to
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apply
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your
support
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. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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saving
money
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is essential for people. I am with
this
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view because no one can live a normal
live
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life
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and give
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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family a chance to live a good life, without saving
money
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.

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task response
Your view is clear. Keep a strong stance in the intro and restate it in the conclusion.
coherence
Link ideas with simple connect words to make flow smoother.
grammar
Fix grammar errors and spell common words (health, their, etc).
content
Give clearer and more concrete examples or numbers to back your points.
structure
End with a strong final sentence that restates your view.
task response
You show a clear view on saving money.
structure
Two main points are given to back your view.
coherence
Introduction mentions the topic and plan.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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