IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training, others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is no denying the fact that training is a crucial part of practising a profession. It is a commonly held belief that workers in specific fields,
such
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 as healthcare and construction workers should be required to work in the region where they did their training. There is
also
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 an argument that they should have the choice to move to another
country
Use synonyms
 to work.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, a considerable number of workers in medicine and engineering want to pay back the nation where they completed their training.
In other words
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, working in the same
country
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 that provides its facilities for training,
such
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 as hospitals and other buildings, would substantially decrease the financial expenditure of these
countries
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.
In addition
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, any
country
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 that provides training for specialists spends a huge amount of money.
For example
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, recent studies have shown that some
countries
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, like the UK, have had a substantial decline in their economy since 1998, which is when new education regulations were introduced.
On the other hand
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, other
countries
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 overseas need professionals, regardless of the circumstances. It is
also
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 possible to say that if a
country
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 needs a well-known doctor, they will pay him a significant salary to come.
Moreover
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, some professionals study and train in a foreign
country
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 ,and later wish to return to their home
country
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.
For instance
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, some
countries
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 are well-known in a specific field, so people will travel to go there and study or train in that field. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I believe that all people should be allowed to leave the
country
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 where they completed their training.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. The second side is a bit short.
task response
Give your opinion more clearly in the body, not only at the end.
task response
Use more direct examples that clearly match the question.
task response
Some main ideas need more support and clearer detail.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words are used well, but sometimes the ideas move too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main point easier to follow by adding one more explaining sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Keep examples closely tied to the main idea of each paragraph.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
task response
The essay stays on the topic from start to finish.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion is clear and matches your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Paragraphing is clear and easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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