IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

University students should pay the full cost for their own study because a university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The chart illustrates the percentages of female school-leavers who pursued higher
education
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 in five different
countries
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 in 1980 and 2015.
Overall
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, most
countries
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 saw a marked increase in the proportion of women entering university, with the notable exception of
Australia
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, where figures remained virtually unchanged. The USA and
Australia
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 consistently recorded the highest participation rates across both years,
whereas
Linking Words
 South Korea—despite substantial growth—continued to have the lowest figures among the five
countries
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. In the United Kingdom, the proportion of women planning to attend university rose significantly, climbing from approximately 30% in 1980 to about 50% three and a half decades later. The USA experienced an even more dramatic increase, with figures rising from just below 40% in 1980 to almost 60% in 2015, reflecting a remarkable surge in female participation.
Conversely
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,
Australia
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 maintained a consistently high rate across both years, with roughly 60% of female school-leavers pursuing higher
education
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, making it the leading country in
this
Linking Words
 regard. South Korea demonstrated the most substantial relative improvement, with female enrolment doubling from around 15% in 1980 to 30% in 2015,
although
Linking Words
 it remained the lowest
overall
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.
In contrast
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, France experienced only a modest gain over the 35-year period, with the percentage of women progressing to higher
education
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 increasing by merely 5%.
This
Linking Words
 comparatively sluggish growth suggests that France lagged behind the general upward trend observed in the other
countries
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. In summary, the data
reveals
Correct subject-verb agreement
reveal
show examples
 an
overall
Linking Words
 upward trend in female participation in higher
education
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, particularly in the USA, the UK, and South Korea,
while
Linking Words
Australia
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 maintained a consistently high level, and France showed only minimal growth.

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coherence cohesion
Add one more clear compare between countries in the middle part.
task achievement
Be careful that one point may be too strong if the chart does not fully show it.
task achievement
Use data in a more even way for all countries.
coherence cohesion
Some ideas are repeated in the end. Make the summary shorter.
coherence cohesion
Your answer has a clear start, body, and end.
task achievement
The main trend is easy to see in your overview.
task achievement
You use numbers well to support key points.
coherence cohesion
Linking words help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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