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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some believe that children who fail in school will have limited futures. Do you agree or disagree?

Poor academic performance drives parents to spare no expense on tutors and cram schools, fearing that low grades will close doors of opportunity for their children. They believe that without grades and degrees, their children cannot succeed later in life. I disagree with
this
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 view; those who fail academically in their youth can—and often do—achieve
self-actualization
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self-actualisation
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 and
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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 in adulthood. School is not the be-all, end-all predictor of success or ability. Rather, it is an institution that measures conformity to rigid standards and testing formats. Many brilliant “neurodiverse” people (those with conditions like ADHD, autism, and dyslexia) struggle academically because
such
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 inflexibility is at odds with their unique neurotypes—and yet, they absorb information quickly via self-paced online learning. A person does not need to be a
high-achiever
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high achiever
 in their schooling years to become educated and competent by learning outside of the system. In fact, it is not even necessary to be “educated” in the academic sense to excel and find meaning. There are numerous careers that do not require any
such
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 credentials. Artists, dancers, woodworkers, and chefs are all masters of their crafts, but these skills are neither measured nor rewarded in school. They live full, joyous lives all the same—because they have discovered the professions that truly matter to them. One might argue that those who are not so lucky as to find their path in
such
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 roles face limitations
due to
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 their lack of higher education credentials.
This
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 is true
:
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;
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 certain professions
like
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, like
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 medicine and
law
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law,
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 are gatekept behind advanced degrees.
However
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, there is no rule that individuals who become interested in
such
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 careers later in life cannot resume unfinished formal studies and enter their desired fields. They may even have more successful, happy careers because they pursued what they truly wanted in maturity
instead
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 of allowing parents and external influences to steer their courses in their
youths
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youth
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. Regardless of what
self-actualization
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self-actualisation
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 looks like for an individual, there are many paths to that destination. Formal schooling is only one
such
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 path, and perhaps not even the best one for the journey they embark
o
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on

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coherence cohesion
Make your last line full. Now the end is cut, so the close is not complete.
task achievement
Use one or two more clear real examples to make your points stronger.
task achievement
Keep each body part tied back to the question about future limits more directly.
coherence cohesion
Some long lines can be made shorter for easier follow.
task achievement
Your view is clear from the start and stays clear all through the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ideas move in a good order, with smooth links from one part to the next.
task achievement
Main points are well explained and supported with fitting detail.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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