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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that technology has made people less socially active, while others think it has improved communication. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some individuals argue that modern
technology
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 has diminished direct social
interaction
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,
while
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 others contend that it has enhanced
communication
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 between
people
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. In my view,
although
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 digital
communication
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 cannot fully replace face-to-face
interaction
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, the benefits of modern
technology
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 clearly outweigh its drawbacks. On one hand, some
people
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 believe that technological advancements have led to social isolation. Many individuals no longer feel the need to attend social events because they assume that everything will be shared on social media.
As a result
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, personal relationships, particularly within families, may weaken.
For instance
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, young adults may prefer chatting in online groups rather than participating in family gatherings or social clubs, which reduces opportunities for meaningful in-person bonding.
Furthermore
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, if
people
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 rely excessively on online
interaction
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, their ability to develop strong interpersonal skills and empathy can deteriorate, potentially leading to feelings of loneliness or emotional disconnect.
On the other hand
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, others argue that digital reliance has significantly improved global connectivity. Real-time
communication
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 allows
people
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 from different continents to collaborate and interact more efficiently than ever before. A key factor is that social connections can now be maintained through online platforms without the need for physical meetings, enabling opportunities that were previously unimaginable.
For example
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, individuals can secure international jobs, collaborate on musical projects, or participate in global entertainment ventures entirely online.
In addition
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,
technology
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 has
revolutionized
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revolutionised
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 education, allowing international students to communicate with their families abroad easily. Previously, maintaining contact with relatives was challenging
due to
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 distance and cost, but now platforms
such
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 as video calls and messaging apps ensure that families can remain closely connected, thereby strengthening emotional bonds. In conclusion,
although
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 digital
communication
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 cannot entirely substitute for personal
interaction
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, it has greatly enhanced human connectivity, created numerous global opportunities, and facilitated education.
Therefore
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, the advantages of modern
technology
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 clearly outweigh its disadvantages.

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task response
For task response, your answer covers both sides and gives your own view. To get a higher score, make your opinion a bit stronger in the body, not only in the start and end.
task response
For task response, your ideas are clear, but some points are a little general. Add one more very clear real-life example to make your support stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and the order is good. To improve more, use a few more linking words with care, such as 'however' or 'as a result', to show small shifts in ideas.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one clear main idea. To get a higher band, make some sentences shorter and simpler so the flow feels even more natural.
task response
For task response, you answer all parts of the question and give a clear opinion.
task response
For task response, you use good examples about family, work, and study.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph stays on one main point, so it is easy to read.
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