IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Government spending on
space
Use synonyms
programs
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 is becoming more and more vast over the
last
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 decades. Some people believe
such
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 expenses are a total waste and must be allocated to other social and economic fields. It is disagreed that these investments are useless and do not provide advantages to the nation.
This
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 essay will shed some light on the issue and provide several examples to support the thesis.
To begin
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 with,
space
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 exploration
programs
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 have always been the engine of progress for all mankind.
For instance
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,
such
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 technologies as aircraft for commercial airlines, which help individuals to travel around the world, and mobile phones were
initially
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 developed to resolve military and
space
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 research issues. Without enormous investments from the governments, these innovations would be impossible or at least will see the light only twenty years later.
Thus
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, cosmos
programs
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 help society move forward, and their developments can be applied in civilian fields.
Moreover
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, daydreaming about
cosmos
Correct article usage
the cosmos
show examples
 is the guiding star for brilliant young minds and future generations in general.
For example
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, technological universities in the U.S., like MIT, Brown, Stanford and CalTech, graduate more than ten thousand students every year, and only three per cent are going to work at NASA or SpaceX. The majority of these inquisitive minds will find their place in retail, financial and technological companies to make people's lives happier and more effective.
Such
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 positive changes would only be possible with support and scholarships from the government and its budgets for
space
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 exploration. So, without these endowments, society would have fewer scientists to solve daily problems.
To sum up
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, it can be clearly seen that money spent on outer
space
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 exploration is not a complete waste.
Such
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programs
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 not only help to create new technologies for civil implementation but
also
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 help resourceful and intelligent individuals find their place in life.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed logically. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to help the reader understand the flow of your argument.
task achievement
It is important to fully address the prompt by showing the extent to which you agree or disagree. While your essay includes relevant examples and arguments, consider expanding on how these examples relate directly to the question of whether the money spent on space exploration could be better used elsewhere.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
What to do next:
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