IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of them because of their benefits to humanity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

These days, scientific research requires more and more animals to finish their studies about medicine.
This
Linking Words
 accumulation of animal uses is developing a huge revolt by many people who mainly argue that it is morally wrong because of the harm done to the beasts , but others say that it helps humanity to develop. I am
on
Change preposition
of
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 the opinion that scientific research
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 more important than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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wild pets.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I think that these acts are very dangerous. Indeed, in our world, we can depict a huge change in the treatment we are giving to creatures. Not only on scientific experiments but on every aspect with our pets ( there is a huge increase of abandonment in the
last
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 decade ), with climate change and the harm caused to the fauna. So it should be condemned the use of critters for the main purpose of testing some medicines,
for example
Linking Words
, using rats as guinea pigs and killing them after that.
However
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, these acts are really important in our society because it helped it become great as it is right now. So the use of these treatments on animals can save a lot of money and a lot of time for scientifics. After all, wild living things are a good alternative to avoid testing them on human beings and can bypass a lot of ethical problems like using humans as guinea pigs or creating new viruses that can put our civilisation in danger,
for instance
Linking Words
, testing cancer treatment directly on a human without knowing if it works or not and after that, it kills the human
To conclude
Linking Words
, I think that the scientific use of creatures can be bad because of the normalisation of the violence against beasts , but
on the other hand
Linking Words
, it helps the population's health.

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task response
Start with a short intro that clearly states your view. A good essay has one view that is kept as you write and a clear end.
task response
Explain both sides in separate paragraphs and end with a clear own view.
task response
Give one or two real or simple facts to back your point. Try to avoid vague ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make your paragraphs in a clear order: idea, reason, example, then link to the next idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple and correct sentences. Check your grammar and make sure each sentence fits the idea.
structure
The essay shows a move to discuss both sides and to give a clear view at the end.
coherence
There are linking words such as First and However to join ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Ethics
  • Morality
  • Vivisection
  • In vivo testing
  • Cruelty-free
  • Animal welfare
  • Biomedical research
  • Toxicology
  • Sentience
  • Compassionate
  • Humane
  • Speciesism
  • In vitro
  • Alternative methods
  • Pharmacology
  • Clinical trials
  • Bioethics
  • Animal rights
  • Pain threshold
  • Efficacy
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