Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of them because of their benefits to humanity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, animal testing is used for medical research.

While

Linking Words

some people believe that

this

Linking Words

should be banned, others think it is necessary. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

I think that both are necessary

but

Punctuation problem

, but

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be limited as much as possible. On the one hand, many people say that animal testing is bad because it causes suffering. Animals can not defend themselves, so it’s unfair to use them. To experiment with them, you remove them from

all

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

their environment and isolate them.

Moreover

Linking Words

, many tests are painful

and

Punctuation problem

, and

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that can kill them or produce cancer.

Therefore

Linking Words

, people believe that

this

Linking Words

is cruel and inhumane and should be stopped.

On the other hand

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, others think that animal testing is important for progress.

For example

Linking Words

, a lot of medicines have been tested

Linking Words

firstly

Rephrase

first

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in animals

Punctuation problem

, like

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Covid 19, penicillin

anesthesia

Punctuation problem

, anaesthesia,

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and others. Without

this

Linking Words

research, it would be difficult to improve in humans. The result of banning animal tests could slow

this

Linking Words

medical research and risk human safety. In my opinion, animal testing can not be banned, but it should be reduced. Scientists need to find other methods with new technologies In conclusion, animal testing has a lot of advantages, but it should be controlled to reduce animal suffering.

santos_dij

Sep 25, 2023

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task response

Answer all parts more fully. You discuss both sides and give your view, but your own opinion is short.

task response

Add one more clear idea for each side. This will make your essay more complete.

task response

Use more specific examples. For example, give one real medicine and explain how animal tests helped.

task response

Make your opinion very clear from start to end. Now your view is there, but it is a little mixed in one sentence.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this structure.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words carefully. Words like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Moreover', and 'Therefore' help, but add more simple links between ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Develop each main point more. Some ideas are good but stop too fast.

coherence and cohesion

Check sentence connection. A few sentences feel unfinished, for example the last body sentence about new technologies.

task response

You answer the question and talk about both views.

task response

You give your opinion and repeat it in the conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has clear paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion is short but clear.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

204 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Ethics
Morality
Vivisection
In vivo testing
Cruelty-free
Animal welfare
Biomedical research
Toxicology
Sentience
Compassionate
Humane
Speciesism
In vitro
Alternative methods
Pharmacology
Clinical trials
Bioethics
Animal rights
Pain threshold
Efficacy

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