Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

There is no denying the fact that competitions in schools have made

people

Use synonyms

think about

Correct word choice

whether

show examples

it is a good thing for young

people

Use synonyms

or not.

Therefor

Correct your spelling

Therefore

, some say that it

effects

Use the right word

affects

show examples

them in a bad way, because it may make those who always loss fell negatively.

While

Linking Words

others believe that it will make them try to win. In my opinion, I consider that it is good for the kids.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the problems that lead us to think that

competitions

Check wording

competition

show examples

is not a good thing. One is that parents have seen

lossers

Use the right word

losers

show examples

stop fighting to reach higher points, because they think that they are not able to achieve that with the

amount

Check wording

number

show examples

of kids who are

competitiving

Correct your spelling

competing

with

Correct pronoun usage

them.

show examples

Another point to consider is that many schools

but

Verb problem

offer

show examples

some rewards for the winners.

Therefor

Correct your spelling

Therefore

, it may make them try to get higher points and win

aginest

Correct your spelling

against

all of their friends.

Linking Words

Moreover

Add a comma

Moreover,

show examples

their parents will be

happey

Correct your spelling

happy

for them if they win, so that will encourage them to do that.

For example

Linking Words

, there is a school competition

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

the winner will

gets

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

a toy, the kids will do their best to win that,

also

Linking Words

to make their parents proud. In conclusion, the

people

Use synonyms

's talk is not going to end about

this

Linking Words

argument.

As a result

Linking Words

, everyone has different views. We saw some of the benefits, which

Correct subject-verb agreement

include

show examples

young

people

Use synonyms

want

Wrong verb form

wanting

show examples

to say to their families about what they have achieved.

In contrast

Linking Words

, the ones who

loss

Replace the word

lose

might

fell

Wrong verb form

feel

show examples

bad. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

I believe that there must be some competitions in schools, as it will make our children try to think more on account of winning the

prices

Use the right word

prizes

show examples

alhodarmahmood

Mar 21, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Answer both sides more fully. You talk about the bad side and the good side, but each side needs more clear ideas.

task response

Give your opinion in a clear way and keep it the same through the essay.

task response

Use examples that are more real and more specific.

coherence and cohesion

Put one main idea in each body paragraph and explain it step by step.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words carefully. Some are used, but not always in a natural way.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure each sentence connects clearly to the next one.

task response

You answered the full question and gave your opinion.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You used some linking words like while, moreover, for example, and in conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

undue stress
academic achievement
critical thinking
interpersonal skills
unhealthy rivalries
social isolation
bullying
reduced collaboration
motivation
achieve their goals
resilience
perseverance
innovation
improvement
outperform
higher standards

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Q. There is the annual work party next month, which is held every year. Write a letter to your colleagues to co-arrange the party. In your letter: • Say what would you do differently than last year • Say what you think were some of the things not so good last year • Suggest where to meet to plan for the party.
I am writing this letter in connection with our annual work effort party which is happening next month on the 23rd of July. As the facilitator of the party this year, I would like to bring to everyone's attention that there will be some changes in the plan which will be different from previous years.
7.5
band
Some people say that individuals do to protect cannot make difference, while others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In today’s world, there is an ongoing debate about whether individual efforts to protect the environment are truly impactful or whether large-scale intervention is necessary. Some argue that personal initiatives make little difference, while others contend that individuals play a vital role in environmental preservation. This essay will examine both perspectives and explain why I partially agree with the latter view.
6.5
band
In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn on their own income and therefore do not require the financial security marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is the changing role of women in society. Now people are beginning to realize that marriage is no longer the only way for women to achieve stability. Personally, I tend to think that financial independence is one of the key reasons, but not the only factor. Firstly, it is well known that women today have more opportunities to work and build successful careers. What I mean here is that many women can support themselves without depending on a husband’s salary. A good case in point is modern Europe, where a high percentage of women continue living alone even when they reach their thirties, because they feel confident in their own income. In addition, women may prefer to travel or focus on education when they finish their studies, rather than getting married immediately. On the other hand, it can also be argued that money is not the only explanation. That is to say, many women value personal freedom and do not want to be limited by traditional...
6
band
Diet, not exercise, is the most important element in maintaining one’s health. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use details and reasons to support your point of view.
Due to today's trend of sedentary lives ,maintaining good health is a concern for many, and while both diet and exercise play crucial roles, some argue that diet is the most important factor. While a well-balanced diet is undeniably essential, I firmly believe that a combination of both diet and exercise is necessary for overall well-being.
7
band
Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by governments rather than private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Regarding should scientific research taken care of and controlled by governments or private companies, this event includes a lot of points. In my opinion, I believe that both carried out and managed scientific research can provide more benefits to society.

Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people say that individuals do to protect cannot make difference, while others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn on their own income and therefore do not require the financial security marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?

Diet, not exercise, is the most important element in maintaining one’s health. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use details and reasons to support your point of view.

Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by governments rather than private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?