IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people believe that the rise of online shopping has had a negative impact on the environment due to increased packaging and delivery emissions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The rapid growth of online shopping has sparked a debate about its environmental consequences, particularly in terms of excessive packaging and increased
delivery
Use synonyms
emissions
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.
While
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 it is true that e-commerce contributes to environmental degradation in several ways, I believe that its
overall
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 impact is more nuanced, as it may
also
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 reduce certain forms of pollution associated with traditional retail. On the one hand, online shopping generates a large amount of packaging waste. In order to protect goods during transportation, items are often wrapped in multiple layers of plastic and cardboard.
For example
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, a small product
such
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 as a phone charger is frequently placed in an oversized box filled with plastic packaging, which creates unnecessary waste. Much of
this
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 material is non-biodegradable and cannot be easily recycled, so it often ends up in landfills.
In addition
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, the increase in
delivery
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 services contributes to higher carbon
emissions
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. As more people choose home
delivery
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, logistics companies must send out more vehicles, especially to meet the demand for fast shipping.
This
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 leads to greater fuel consumption and worsens air pollution.
On the other hand
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, online shopping can reduce environmental damage in some situations. Compared with traditional shopping, fewer individuals need to travel to physical stores.
For instance
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, one
delivery
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 van can deliver dozens of packages in a single trip,
whereas
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 the same number of customers might drive separately, producing more
emissions
Use synonyms
overall
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.
Furthermore
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, the growth of e-commerce may reduce the need for physical retail stores, which require large amounts of electricity for lighting, heating and air conditioning.
Therefore
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,
although
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 online shopping increases packaging waste, it may help lower other types of environmental impact. In conclusion,
although
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 online shopping contributes to environmental problems through increased packaging and transportation
emissions
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, it
also
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 offers opportunities to reduce other forms of pollution.
Therefore
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, I partly agree that its impact is negative, as the
overall
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 effect depends on how efficiently e-commerce systems are managed.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear and you give both sides, but you can make your own view stronger from the start and keep it the same in all parts.
task response
For task response, add one more real and clear example to show why your ideas are true.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow, but some links are too simple. Try to use a wider range of linking words in a natural way.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, there is a small space problem in 'landfills.In addition'. Check this kind of small error because it can make the flow less smooth.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you can make the second body paragraph a little more developed so both sides feel equally strong.
task response
For task response, you answer the question fully and clearly show that you partly agree.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are relevant and you explain them well.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear intro, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main focus, so your ideas are easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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