Some people think that university education should be free for everyone, while others believe that students should pay for their studies. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Everyone knows about the importance of the educational process in all its stages.Especially During the university phase, as many
community
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communities
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start establishing their future from here.Most people believe that access to
the
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apply
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educational
institution
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institutions
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must be free.
On the other hand
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, there are some views that suggest
to request
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requesting
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the university fees for each student.We have several points regarding
this
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topic.In my opinion,
i
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I
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think the study in universities must be free for all learners, so
i
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I
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consider it as a main and important right of humans.
To begin
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with, education is extremely essential for people of all ages and backgrounds.Some parents can not afford the study costs
,
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due to
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their low incomes.
As a result
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, family who suffer from poverty will lose their hopes to learn and get better jobs.
Accordingly
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, the rates of crimes might increase
which
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, which
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will lead to significant crises.
For example
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, some developing countries recorded considerable reports of random crimes in areas with low educational levels.Unlike the countries that care about the quality of their education system.
Also
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, there is a common belief that
encouragesstudents
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encourages students
to be independent and work hard to afford the academy fees by themselves.They think
this
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will help youth to be responsible.
In addition
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, they will assist their parents in financial matters to cope with life’s challenges.
Moreover
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, some studies show the huge impact of taking responsibilities from early ages, which prepares young
folk
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people
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to be successful in many fields ,
such
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as workplaces and jobs. In conclusion, I think governments must spend a lot of funds to help their citizens continue their studies.As
this
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will improve society and make it a good place to live in.

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task response
Answer both sides more evenly. You wrote more about free study, but the pay side is shorter.
task response
State your opinion in a very clear way in the introduction and keep it the same in the body.
task response
Add one more clear example for the side that says students should pay.
coherence cohesion
Make each body paragraph have one main idea only.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words more carefully, like 'Firstly', 'On the other hand', and 'As a result'.
coherence cohesion
Check sentence order, because some ideas jump too fast and this makes reading less easy.
task response
You answered the question and gave your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present.
task response
You used some examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph shape.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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