Many manufactured food and drink contains high levels of sugar, Which cause many health problems. Sugary should be made more expensive to encourage to people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #levels #sugar #health #people

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The number of

people

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who consume high

sugar

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levels is increasing nowadays, which leads to significant health consequences. I believe that making sugary manufactured food and drink more expensive can help

people

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to lessen their

sugar

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intake because they will opt for cheaper options and they will not be able to consume it regularly. First of all, by making sugary products more exclusive

then

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individuals

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will rethink their decisions before purchasing.

This

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due to

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the fact that many

people

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have limited budgets so they will search for other inexpensive diets.

For instance

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people

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will be encouraged to buy less

sugar

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teas because they are cheaper compared to the normal ones, even though they are from the same brand.

Therefore

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, they will reduce sweet consumption over time.

Additionally

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individuals

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might opt for homemade snacks or fresh fruits as alternatives to expensive sugary treats.

Secondly

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, as the price for sweet food and beverages goes higher,

people

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will not be able to buy them every day.

This

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happens because most

people

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prefer to buy other essential things with their money rather than just one sweet delicacy.

For example

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, if gas and sugary have the same prices,

people

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are most likely to choose the former over the latter.

This

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happens because they think that there are other things that are worth their money.

Consequently

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individuals

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will only buy sugars occasionally when they have more cash to spend. In conclusion, I agree that excessive

sugar

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consumption can be tackled by selling them at higher prices.

Due to

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their affordability,

individuals

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will be compelled to choose less sugary alternatives and they will not be able to consume high sugars daily as they choose to buy more important necessities.

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the supporting details are directly relevant to the main topic. Avoid introducing new ideas without proper explanation or connection to the topic.

coherence cohesion

Work on creating a logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use a range of cohesive devices that are appropriate and accurate, and avoid over-reliance on any single type of linking word or phrase.

task achievement

It's important to fully address the prompt. Your essay should not only state whether you agree or disagree but also have a clear argument that encompasses all aspects of the question. Provide a more detailed and nuanced explanation of how and why you hold your view.

task achievement

Develop your ideas fully by giving specific examples and elaborating on them. Make sure all examples are entirely relevant, supportive of your argument, and help to illustrate your points more clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

manufactured food and drinks
high levels of sugar
health problems
consume less sugar
sugary products
more expensive
motivate
reduced sugar consumption
additional revenue
healthcare programs
low-income individuals
cheaper sugary products
education and awareness
excessive sugar consumption
promoting healthier choices

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Many manufactured food and drink contains high levels of sugar, Which cause many health problems. Sugary should be made more expensive to encourage to people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that printed books are not necessary in the digital era, as all writing can be stored electronically. Others believe that printed books still play an important role in our lives. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.