IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that teachers should not give homework to the school students. Others, however, contradict and consider that it is necessary for their education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A part of the demographic of
indiviouals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 hold the belief that teachers are not
suppose
Wrong verb form
supposed
show examples
 to give
homework
Use synonyms
 to students, and some are at the opposite of that and see it as
nescessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 for them to do
homework
Use synonyms
 after
school
Use synonyms
 hours
, im
Punctuation problem
. I am
show examples
 at the understanding that the middle ground of
this
Linking Words
 would be the
silverlining
Correct your spelling
silver lining
 for both views. The main
standing of
Check wording
reason
show examples
 people
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do not want students to do any
school
Use synonyms
 work at home is that
learing
Correct your spelling
learning
 should be isolated and only in the
school
Use synonyms
 area
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the hours after
school
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 should be spent for them to be kids and to spend that
time
Use synonyms
 learning other skills
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as sports
playing
Punctuation problem
, playing
show examples
 outside
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 being social
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
such
Linking Words
 other
Use synonyms
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the other demographic
see
Correct subject-verb agreement
sees
show examples
 it so
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that
homework
Use synonyms
 is necessary for kids to keep their brain active, more training for them so they can improve in their
school
Use synonyms
curriculums
Replace the word
curricula
 and better understanding of the courses in their schools, keeping their brain in a full loop of
Use synonyms
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 more training the better they are at it, making sure that the kids have a sharper discipline in the future and whatever
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
 they will partake in the future. My understanding of all of that will be that, if there is a
possiblility
Correct your spelling
possibility
 that a sweet
spart
Correct your spelling
spot
 can be
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 in the
middle
Punctuation problem
middle,
show examples
 that would be the perfect point of
intreast
Correct your spelling
interest
.
so
Fix capitalization
So
show examples
 a little bit of
homework
Use synonyms
 for some courses in their
time
Use synonyms
 outside of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
, so they will have a lot more
time
Use synonyms
 spending for other
Use synonyms
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
such
Linking Words
 as sports
and
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 arts and other
Use synonyms
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 of
such
Linking Words
. that will allow them to have a more balanced upbringing and that can lead to more
compitant
Correct your spelling
competent
 and passionate
indiviouals
Correct your spelling
individuals
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about both views, but each side needs a bit more detail.
task response
Give a clear opinion in one simple sentence. Your view is there, but it is not very direct.
task response
Add one real or clear example for each side. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use shorter sentences. Some of your sentences are very long and hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea. Then explain it.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'For example', and 'In my view'.
task response
You discuss both views, so you answer the main task.
task response
You give your own opinion in the last part.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic shape: intro, two body parts, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Words like 'On the other hand' help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: