IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, more individuals are choosing healthier lifestyles given the fact of not consuming animal products, such as, meat or fish. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

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It is becoming an increasing
trend
Use synonyms
 that more and more
number of pubic
Check wording
people
show examples
 are altering their diet to become vegetarians, who do not eat any products from animal resources.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
futher
Correct your spelling
further
 discuss
seveal
Correct your spelling
several
 advantages and
disavantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
. On the one hand, the vegetarian
trend
Use synonyms
creats siginificant
Correct your spelling
creates significant
 merits, especially in terms of the portect animals and
healty issiues
Correct your spelling
healthy issues
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
, not too much demand for
meats
Check wording
meat
show examples
 and fish or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other animals
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
, a lot of them can
survivaled
Wrong verb form
survive
show examples
,
do
Correct word choice
and do
show examples
 not face
to died
Replace the word
death
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if people used to eat vegetables, the
diagestion
Correct your spelling
digestion
 can
imporved
Wrong verb form
be improved
show examples
, reduced some disease happed
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as heart
problem
Check wording
problems
show examples
 or diabetes.
For example
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 Taiwan,
vegetarian
Correct article usage
the vegetarian
show examples
trend
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 popular for a long time
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 there are a lot of
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families that
show examples
 do not eat meat and fish
when they were born
Change preposition
from birth
show examples
 or
young
Change preposition
at a young
show examples
 age, and they are healthy
even
Punctuation problem
, even
show examples
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
 have
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 life. It is evident they are already 99 years old.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 offers
numberous
Correct your spelling
numerous
 demerits to society. One of the most notable
disaventage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 is
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 livestock industry face the big challenge for
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, requiring animal products decreased
significanly
Correct your spelling
significantly
, lack
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 job opportunities will become a serious
perblem
Correct your spelling
problem
. Another negative
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
 about
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
 is vegetarian should lace some specific
nutrition
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrients
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as B12,
vital
Check wording
vitamin
show examples
 D, which
it intake
Verb problem
can
show examples
 only
from
Verb problem
be obtained from
show examples
animal
Check wording
animals
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, my friend is vegetarian
already
Change preposition
for
show examples
 20 years, she
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to
consum
Correct your spelling
consume
 extra nutrition every day. In conclusion, despite the benefits to animals and healther life,
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the disavantages is about the
callenges
Correct your spelling
challenges
 of
livestock
Correct article usage
the livestock
show examples
 industry
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 people lack some
nurtrition
Correct your spelling
nutrition
.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more full way. Add one more clear idea for each side.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main ideas easy to see. Start each body part with one clear point.
task response
Explain your examples more. Show how the example supports your point.
coherence and cohesion
Use link words in a simple and correct way, like first, also, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one idea in one sentence when you can. This will help your meaning stay clear.
task response
You answered the topic and talked about both good and bad sides.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You used examples to support your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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