IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university in order to travel or to work do you think advantags outweigh vote disadvantages

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Working before ending a school journey
it's
Correct pronoun usage
is
show examples
 common nowadays,
it duo
Use the right word
due
show examples
 to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of money
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and
need
Correct article usage
the need
show examples
 for experience
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 I think it way for individuals to build a solid
future
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, it
consume
Correct subject-verb agreement
consumes
show examples
 energy. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss
this
Linking Words
 topic in
details
Check wording
detail
show examples
, and I will provide the pros and cons.  First and foremost, studying is the most important thing
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it gives you the tools to have a good job
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 with a high salary
,
Punctuation problem
. However
show examples
however
Linking Words
,
besides
Linking Words
 that, you need practical experience
, all
Punctuation problem
. All
show examples
 big companies and ministries require that
,
Punctuation problem
. Furthermore
show examples
furthermore
Linking Words
, what all
people
Use synonyms
 do is
finishing
Wrong verb form
finish their
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 studies
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
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looking
Wrong verb form
look
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 for a job.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the advantages of working early
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the ability to get money
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and get to know talented
people
Use synonyms
 who will help you in the
future
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 many disadvantages, like
get distracting
Wrong verb form
getting distracted
show examples
, and
less
Verb problem
being less
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 focused on your homework. From my perspective, I totally agree with being aware of
youself, some
Punctuation problem
yourself. Some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have a
fexsible
Correct your spelling
flexible
 life
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 they can do work and study simultaneously
, others
Punctuation problem
. Others
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 can't
,
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 vital point
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 should take it seriously.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, life is full of adventure, trying different
think
Use the right word
things
show examples
 is good.
In addition
Linking Words
, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 that I knew, working for 3 hours per day,
besides
Linking Words
 their courses in universities, but that didn't affect their score in a negative way,
in contrast
Linking Words
, it made them more energetic and full of desire to get a high
scores
Fix the agreement mistake
score
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,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it's
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 not about the time,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it's
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 about
people
Use synonyms
's capacities, and desire. There is a co-author
said
Correct pronoun usage
who said
show examples
 in his book, doing the hard thing in your early ages,
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will make you
more stronger and
Correct word order
stronger and more
show examples
 powerful in the
future
Use synonyms
, because life is full of
surprising
Replace the word
surprises
 and difficulties. In conclusion,
everytime
Correct your spelling
every time
people
Use synonyms
 spent in study,
will
Correct pronoun usage
it will
show examples
 manifest in the
future
Use synonyms
, being didecate to study and grow is very good, and being a good
opportunities
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
show examples
 in the long-term, but most
people
Use synonyms
 are
inamptiece,
Correct word order
incompetent. Also,
show examples
also
Linking Words
 I'm not against working at all
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 sometimes it's better for your career.

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly. Say if the good points are more than the bad points, and keep this view all through the essay.
task response
Use main ideas that directly match the topic: taking one year off before university to travel or work. Do not change the topic to working while studying.
task response
Add clearer support for each main point. Explain why one year off can help or hurt students.
task response
Give one or two simple real examples that clearly fit the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph have one clear main idea. This will help the essay feel easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simpler way. Use words like first, also, for example, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very long sentences with many commas. Write shorter sentences so your meaning is clear.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same focus in each paragraph. Do not move from gap year to part-time work unless it helps your main point.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion, so the essay has a full shape.
task response
You try to discuss both good and bad sides of the idea.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing, which helps the reader follow your writing.
task response
You share your own view in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gap year
  • Life experiences
  • Personal growth
  • Independence
  • Resume enhancement
  • Practical skills
  • Cultural awareness
  • Global perspective
  • Academic burnout
  • Renewed energy
  • Financial savings
  • Student loans
  • Skillset
  • Workforce
  • Self-discovery
What to do next:
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