IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

University students should pay all the costs of their studies because university education benefits only individuals but not the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern world, it is undeniable that higher
education
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 plays a crucial role in personal and societal development. Some people argue that
university
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students
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 should pay the full cost of their
education
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 because it only
benefits
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individuals
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 rather than
society
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 as a whole.
Although
Linking Words
 some may agree with
this
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 view, I am opposed to it
due to
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 several reasons, which will be examined in
this
Linking Words
 essay. One of the most apparent reasons is that
university
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education
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 provides significant
benefits
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 to
society
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. To illustrate, graduates contribute to economic growth by entering skilled professions
such
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 as medicine, engineering, and
education
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.
For instance
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, doctors and teachers serve communities directly, improving public health and knowledge.
In addition
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, a well-educated population can drive innovation, increase productivity, and strengthen a nation’s competitiveness in the global economy.
This
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 demonstrates that the
benefits
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 of higher
education
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 extend far beyond individual success. Another point that should not be overlooked is that requiring
students
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 to pay all costs may create inequality in access to
education
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. To clarify,
individuals
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 from low-income backgrounds may be unable to afford
university
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 fees, regardless of their ability or potential.
For example
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, talented
students
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 might be discouraged from pursuing higher
education
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, which would result in a loss of human capital for
society
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.
Therefore
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, shared funding between governments and
individuals
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 can ensure equal opportunities
while
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 maintaining a high-quality
education
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 system. To recapitulate, it is evident that
university
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education
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benefits
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 both
individuals
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 and
society
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 by contributing to economic development and social progress,
while
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 full financial responsibility may limit access for many
students
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.
Therefore
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, I firmly believe that
students
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 should not bear all the costs of their studies, and governments should continue to support higher
education
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 for the benefit of
society
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 as a whole.

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task response
Say your main view more strongly in the first part. This makes your answer even more clear.
task response
Add one more direct reason for the other side, then show why you do not agree. This can make your response more full.
task response
Your examples are good, but they are still a bit general. Add one more clear and real example.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are good, but a few are used in a fixed way. Try to vary them more.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow, but some ideas can be developed a little more in the body parts.
coherence and cohesion
Try to make the move from one sentence to the next more smooth without always using set phrases.
task response
You answer the question clearly and give a clear opinion.
task response
Your main ideas stay on the topic all the way through.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main idea, so it is easy to read.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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