Topic: Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, the topic of banning dangerous
sports
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has become a widespread debate. Some individuals believe that authorities should prevent citizens from participating in dangerous
sports
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,
while
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others argue that people should have the freedom to engage in these
activities
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.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own opinion. On the one hand, it is undeniable that dangerous
sports
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carry a multitude of significant risks of injury or even death.
This
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is an inevitable aspect of
such
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sports
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because players often engage in high speeds, great heights, or unpredictable environments where equipment may fail or be misused.
Therefore
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, banning dangerous
sports
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may protect individuals from serious physical harm and long-term health issues. Injuries from these
activities
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can lead to lifelong disabilities or chronic pain, placing burdens on families and society. Another critical point worth noting is that banning high-risk
sports
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can encourage participation in safer recreational
activities
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, promoting physical fitness and teamwork in a more secure setting.
On the other hand
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, it is essential to recognise that individuals should have the right to make their own choices, including participation in extreme
sports
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. These
activities
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offer diverse ways for people to express themselves, showcase their skills, and explore personal interests, allowing them to push their limits. More than just entertainment, playing
sports
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teaches valuable life lessons
such
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as discipline, perseverance, and goal-setting—pivotal skills that are beneficial in both personal and academic lives.
Furthermore
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, every citizen has the right to engage in extreme
sports
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and to take full responsibility for the consequences, as it is ultimately their personal choice. In conclusion,
although
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both viewpoints offer valid arguments, I personally believe that lawmakers should not ban extreme
sports
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, as doing so would limit personal freedom and ignore the benefits these
activities
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can bring.
Nonetheless
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, acknowledging the opposing opinion is
also
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important for forming a balanced and respectful perspective.

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task achievement
Your essay clearly presents both sides of the argument with relevant points. However, adding more specific examples would strengthen your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear and logical. Make sure to use linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
introduction
You have a strong introduction that clearly states the topic and the purpose of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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