IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve. Others, however, believe that the problems cannot be solved if individuals do not take actions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Environmental degradation is becoming an ever-increasing issue worldwide nowadays.
While
Linking Words
 some assert that environmental issues are too demanding for
individuals
Use synonyms
 to resolve on their own, others believe,
however
Linking Words
, that without the campaigns of people, solving them can be a far-fetched goal. It seems to me the latter view is undeniable. Supporters of the view that the solution of environmental problems is not in the hands of
individuals
Use synonyms
 alone point to financial necessities, which human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 often fail to cover.
This
Linking Words
 means that manufacturing electric vehicles to minimise air pollution, switching from finite sources to natural ones in order to generate electricity require huge amount of funds, making it unreachable for the public. It is,
therefore
Linking Words
, governments that should take action and invest in green technologies
instead
Linking Words
 of citizens. Take developed countries
such
Linking Words
 as the USA, Germany or Japan, where
such
Linking Words
 initiatives have already been implemented, thereby ameliorating the negative consequences of carbon emissions, which are considered the main cause of global warming
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 a pertinent example. Those who support the assertion that environmental issues cannot be addressed unless people change their attitudes and habits toward the environment. If people were to purchase sustainable and recyclable products on a daily basis
instead
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 of relying on non-recyclable ones and become environmentally conscious citizens, the issues , including air and water pollution,
along with
Linking Words
 deforestation, would certainly be diminished.
For instance
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,
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 in countries like China and Korea have been reported to be environmentally friendly by adopting good habits, like not throwing trash and being responsible for the natural environment with their actions.
Hence
Linking Words
, not only should
individuals
Use synonyms
 be considerate of nature, but their actions
also
Linking Words
 play a pivotal role in achieving
this
Linking Words
 goal. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 funds can place a huge financial burden on
individuals
Use synonyms
 alone, resulting in proving the former point to be beyond doubt, I agree with those who consider actions by
individuals
Use synonyms
 matter most
due to
Linking Words
 their daily habits.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more direct in each body part. Some lines are long and hard to follow.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer linking words and check sentence form. A few parts do not connect in a smooth way.
task achievement
Explain your examples more. Some examples are too general, so they do not fully support the point.
task achievement
Answer both views in a more balanced way before giving your own view.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You discuss both sides and give your opinion clearly.
coherence cohesion
Most main points are on topic and easy to identify.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global warming
  • pollution
  • deforestation
  • overwhelming
  • Paris Agreement
  • sustainable practices
  • waste reduction
  • conserving energy
  • market demands
  • awareness campaigns
  • systemic change
  • ripple effect
  • environmental degradation
  • lifestyle choices
  • regulations
  • accountability
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