Some people believe that pop stars deserve to earn more money than classical music performers. Some disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is thought by some people that
pop
Use synonyms
stars
should get Use synonyms
money
higher than classical Use synonyms
music
performers Use synonyms
while
others believe they deserve almost the same amount of Linking Words
money
. In Use synonyms
this
essay, both viewpoints will be discussed before reaching my opinion.
On the one hand, it is true that payment should be given to Linking Words
pop
Use synonyms
stars
. These days, the fame of Use synonyms
pop
Use synonyms
stars
, Use synonyms
such
as K-Linking Words
pop
or Korean Use synonyms
music
, spreads worldwide. Their new albums or products are sold out within an hour and the sale value, without doubt, is higher than the classical Use synonyms
music
performers' works. Use synonyms
Hence
, Linking Words
this
Linking Words
money
should be shared with them. Use synonyms
In addition
, Linking Words
pop
Use synonyms
stars
' work way more variable Use synonyms
as a result
they have many ways to earn their incomes. They can be hired as ambassadors, presenters, actors, etc. Linking Words
while
the classical ones cannot.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, it is comprehensible if they obtain the same amount of cash. both of them use almost exactly the same skills Linking Words
such
as singing, playing instruments and performing. Linking Words
However
, classical Linking Words
music
is more likely to attach specific and niche communities like hi-so. These groups of people possess a lot of Use synonyms
money
and they are willing to spend it on everything they like without thinking twice. Use synonyms
Moreover
, classical Linking Words
music
performers mostly perform in large groups, Use synonyms
thus
, it is harder to synchronise than Linking Words
pop
Use synonyms
stars
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, they should obtain more cash as a reward for their efforts.
In conclusion, both Linking Words
pop
and classical Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
stars
are playing the same role, performing in front of people. In my opinion, it depends on their listeners and how much they can support their models.Use synonyms
Submitted by nnatthinee on
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Task Achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples to strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to improve flow and readability.
Task Achievement
Ensure your opinion is clear throughout the essay, not only in the conclusion, for a stronger argument.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively discusses both viewpoints before stating your opinion, demonstrating good task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clearly presented, aiding in the overall structure of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have provided a logical structure that helps understand your points easily.