Some people believe that formal education is necessary for success, while others think that success can be achieved through other means. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the modern era,

education

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plays a crucial part in being successful. Some individuals think that formal study is essential for achieving success,

while

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others believe that success can be attained through other alternative paths.

This

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essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own opinion.

To begin

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with, with proper

education

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, you can get your dream job in any field because every job has a procedure to get in , and for that, you require proper knowledge.

Moreover

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education

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is not about books konowledge, it

also

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includes social skills

as well as

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behaviour, which you can only learn through proper

education

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For example

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according to

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a survey of "Times India" newspaper, most people have a theoretical

education

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for a job but are rejected

due to

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lack of social skills problems.

As a result

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, individuals get traumatised and lose their belief in a happy life.

On the other hand

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, nowadays technology is very advanced , and you can learn anything online and sometimes without any fees.

Furthermore

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, with the help of technology, many folks are earning money without having a formal

education

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For instance

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, most of the YouTubers are making a lot of money by generating videos without having proper

education

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of specific field.

Therefore

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, without studing people still can get success in life by using machines and gadgets. In my opinion, formal

education

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is necessary, but it is not mandatory to be a successful individual. As changing of time, technology is upgrading and opening access to free knowledge for people. In conclusion,

although

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formal

education

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plays an important role in getting jobs, without it, folks can still be successful and can achieve their dreams.

2004arshdeepsingh

May 4, 2026

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task response

Answer both sides in a more equal way. You talk more about school than the other side.

task response

Give a clearer opinion. Your view is there, but it is a bit short.

task response

Use examples that feel more real and clear. Explain how they support your point.

coherence and cohesion

Make each main point easier to follow. Some ideas jump too fast.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas with simple clear words, but do not overuse them.

coherence and cohesion

Check sentence order and commas. Some parts are hard to read.

task response

You answered both views and gave your opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You use paragraphing, which helps the reader follow your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

275 words

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Some people believe that formal education is necessary for success, while others think that success can be achieved through other means. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Different types of robots are now being developed which can be a friend, help at work and at school. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?