IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that money spent on space exploration is not justifiable. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people argue that governments spend too much money on
space
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exploration
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 when there are more urgent problems on Earth.
Although
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 I understand
this
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 point of view, I believe that investing in
space
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 programmes is still necessary and beneficial for society. On the one hand, many countries face serious issues
such
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 as poverty, unemployment and inadequate healthcare systems. In developing nations
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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, millions of people struggle to access basic necessities
including
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, including
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 food, clean water and education.
For
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this
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 reason, critics claim that public money should be directed towards improving living conditions rather than funding expensive missions to
space
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. They argue that solving problems on Earth must be a greater priority than exploring other planets.
On the other hand
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,
space
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exploration
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 has brought numerous advantages that positively affect everyday life. Many technologies that are now essential,
such
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 as satellite communication, GPS systems and weather forecasting, were developed thanks to
space
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 research.
Furthermore
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, studying
space
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 can help scientists better understand climate change and natural disasters, which may ultimately protect human lives.
Space
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 programmes
also
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 encourage innovation and create jobs in
science
Correct article usage
the science
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 and engineering sectors. In my opinion, governments should continue investing in
space
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exploration
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while
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also
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 addressing social and economic problems at home. The two aims are not mutually exclusive, and scientific progress can contribute to improving the quality of life for people around the world. In conclusion,
although
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 there are many urgent issues that require financial support, I believe that spending money on
space
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exploration
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 is justified because of its long-term benefits for humanity.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear and you give your opinion from the start. To get a higher score, add one or two more specific examples, such as how space study helps farming, health, or safety.
task response
For task response, you cover both sides well, but some ideas are a little general. Try to explain one idea more deeply in each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and the paragraph order is strong. To improve more, use a few linking words inside paragraphs to show cause and result more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main focus, which is good. For a higher score, develop each main point with a fuller example or short result.
task response
For task response, you answer the question fully and clearly show that you mostly disagree with the idea.
task response
For task response, you discuss both views and keep your position clear all the way through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your ideas move in a logical way and are easy to understand.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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