Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and development soft skill in more important Discus both views and give your opinion?

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Nowadays, some people believe that getting a
university
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degree
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will improve their career prospects
while
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others insist that work
experience
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and interpersonal
skills
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are more important than
university
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education. In my opinion,
experience
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is certainly important but it is not as important as a
degree
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.
Experience
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and soft
skills
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certainly matter. In many
industries
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industries,
show examples
employers will only hire people who have previous work
experience
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in the same sector. By hiring experienced employers, they can eliminate the costs involved in training new employees. Soft
skills
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are
also
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important now. Gone are the days when employees could finish tasks on their own. Now they require team effort.
Also
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in
this
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age of
globalization
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globalization,
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businesses operate from multiple locations from across the globe. In
this
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scenario
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scenario,
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an employee requires good interpersonal
skills
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to communicate with a customer or a client living in another part of the globe.
However
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,
experience
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and soft
skills
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alone will not help much. Jobs have become more complicated these days and it is not possible to perform them without adequate knowledge and training.
For example
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, a person cannot practice as a doctor or an advocate without getting a
degree
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in medicine or law. Most jobs that offer good salaries actually belong to
this
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category. Only a candidate who has spent five or six years at
university
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can apply for them.
Experience
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is something that an individual gains after getting hired. It will definitely improve their chances of getting a promotion or raise.
However
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, in order to get hired, the first thing they need is a
university
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degree
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. What’s more, nowadays, universities impart much more than theoretical knowledge. They conduct workshops to give students hands-on
experience
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.
University
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education
also
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provides students an opportunity to interact with others and improve their communication
skills
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. In conclusion,
experience
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is certainly important and in some sectors it is indispensable.
However
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, in my opinion,
experience
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alone will not help a person. In fact, in
this
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age where most jobs require specialist knowledge, most employers would not even bother to hire someone who lacks a
university
Use synonyms
degree
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Submitted by lychieuxien on

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Task Achievement
To enhance Task Achievement, ensure you address all parts of the prompt fully. While this essay touches upon both views and provides an opinion, the argument could be strengthened by including more pertinent examples to back up each view point. Additionally, directly contrasting the two views may provide clearer insight and help the reader understand the nuances between them.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, maintain a strong logical flow throughout the essay. The essay has a good structure, but transitions between paragraphs can be made smoother to guide the reader through the argument more effectively. Usage of a wider variety of cohesive devices can also bolster this.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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