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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
In recent decades, modern
communication
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technology
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 has transformed the way
people
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 interact with one another. Smartphones, social media platforms, and messaging apps have made
communication
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 faster and more convenient than ever before.
While
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 some
people
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 argue that these developments have improved social
relationships
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, I partially agree that they have had a negative impact because they often weaken genuine human connections despite offering certain benefits.
Body paragraph 1
One major reason why
communication
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technology
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 can be harmful to social
relationships
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 is that it reduces face-to-face interactions. Many
people
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 now prefer sending messages or communicating through social media rather than meeting in person.
As a result
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, conversations often become more superficial and lack important non-verbal cues
such
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 as facial expressions, eye contact, and body language.
This
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 can lead to misunderstandings and weaker emotional bonds.
Furthermore
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, excessive screen time may prevent individuals from spending quality time with family and friends.
For example
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, it is common to see family members using their phones during meals
instead
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 of engaging in meaningful conversations with one another.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, modern
technology
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 can
also
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 foster
relationships
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, particularly when
people
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 are separated by long distances. Instant messaging, video calls, and social networking sites enable individuals to stay connected regardless of geographical barriers. These tools are especially beneficial for families whose members live in different countries, allowing them to communicate regularly and maintain close emotional ties.
In addition
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,
technology
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 helps
people
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 build professional and social networks more efficiently.
However
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, these advantages are most effective when digital
communication
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compliments
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complements
show examples
 rather than replaces direct personal interaction.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 modern
communication
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technology
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 offers significant benefits by making
communication
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 more accessible and ubiquitous, I believe that its
overall
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 effect on social
relationships
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 is largely detrimental. The reduction in face-to-face interaction and the rise of superficial
communication
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 often outweigh its advantages.
Therefore
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,
people
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 should use
technology
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 in moderation and ensure that it supports rather than
substituting
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substitutes
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 genuine human
relationships
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.

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task response
Add one more real and clear example for the good side. For example, explain how a video call can help a parent who works far from home stay close to a child.
task response
Your view is partly agree, but the last paragraph says the bad effect is mostly stronger. Make this balance even more clear in the opening, for example by saying that technology helps when people live far apart, but harms ties when it takes the place of time together.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas could be linked more closely. After saying that online talks lack face and body signs, explain more fully how this may cause a problem, such as hurt feelings or wrong ideas about tone.
coherence and cohesion
Use a small number of key words again across each paragraph, such as “real contact”, “time together”, and “close ties”. This can make the main line of each paragraph even clearer.
task response
You give a clear view from the start and keep it through the essay. You show both the bad and good sides, then explain why the bad side is stronger.
task response
Your main points fit the question well. The meal example is clear and helps show how phone use can harm time with family.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: an opening, one paragraph on harm, one on help, and a closing. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well, such as “As a result”, “Furthermore”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion”. They help the reader move from one idea to the next.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interactions
  • superficial relationships
  • meaningful conversations
  • notifications
  • long-distance relationships
  • online communities
  • social networks
  • social anxiety
  • digital communication
  • real-world interactions
  • over-reliance
  • detrimental effect
  • inhibit
  • deep social connections
  • distract
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