IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

International travel should be restricted because it causes significant environmental damage through carbon emissions. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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It is argued that
travel
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 for
foreing
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foreign
countries
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 should be limited because it is harm environment through high CO2
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level
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levels
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay totally disagrees with that statement because many
countries
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 depend
entierly
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entirely
 on
tourism
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 for their GDP and
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
travel
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damage
Correct subject-verb agreement
damages
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 nature less
damage
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apply
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than others. Small and not wealthy
countries
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 can not survive without
torism
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tourism
 if
traveling will be
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travelling is
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 limited .There
is
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are
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 small islands that profit only
in
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from
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 tourists because they
dont
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don't
 have minerals to export and their land is
small
Rephrase
too small
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 for **harvest . They exist only because of
tourism
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.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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countries
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 like Bali , Maldives have very small land
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 because of the
climate
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climate,
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 they are perfect only for
tourism
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 and might not be there
if not
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without
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tourism
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.**
Travel
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 is not
main
Correct article usage
the main
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 cause of
damege
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damage
 to nature through CO2.Factors like
cars
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,
manufactores
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manufacturing
,
cuting treis
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cutting trees
 and urbanism is main reason of high
level
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 of CO2 . If goverment focused on
electrical
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electric
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cars
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 and
restrict
Wrong verb form
restricted
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 companies for their
manufactors
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manufacturers
 and
make
Wrong verb form
made
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 cities more ‘green space’
CO2
Punctuation problem
, CO2
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more
Verb problem
is more
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 likely to decrease.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 despite Nederlands
tourism
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is
Wrong verb form
being
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 very popular
their
Punctuation problem
, their
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 CO2
level
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 is low .
Becauce
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Because
 they made less tax on
electrical
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electric
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cars
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 and
encoragued
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encouraged
 people
more
Wrong verb form
to
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 walk and ride
on
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apply
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a bike
instead
Linking Words
 of
cars
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. In conclusion,
countries
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 should not limit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
travel
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 and focus on
more
Correct determiner usage
the
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 main causes to lower their CO2
level
Use synonyms

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task response
Answer the question more fully. You say you fully disagree, but you do not talk enough about the harm from air travel and carbon gas.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea in each body paragraph very clear at the start, then add support after that.
task response
Use examples that are real and exact. Bali is not a country, so this weakens your point.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some sentences jump too fast from one point to the next.
task response
Explain your points more. For example, say why tourism is more important than limits on travel for some places.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start and keep it to the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, two body parts, and an ending.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas, which helps the reader follow your view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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