IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many species of animals and plants are disappearing from the world. ➤ What are the causes of this loss of biodiversity? ➤ What can be done to prevent it?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Nowadays, many
species
Use synonyms
 of animals and plants are becoming endangered
due to
Linking Words
 human activities and environmental problems.
This
Linking Words
 issue is mainly caused by weak government
regulations
Use synonyms
 and climate change. In my opinion, stricter environmental laws and stronger public awareness are necessary to protect
biodiversity
Use synonyms
. One major cause of
biodiversity
Use synonyms
loss
Use synonyms
 is the lack of strict
regulations
Use synonyms
 against illegal hunting and deforestation. In some countries, people continue killing wild animals because the punishment for these actions is not severe enough.
As a result
Linking Words
, the population of many
species
Use synonyms
 continues to decline.
For example
Linking Words
, the Sumatran tiger is becoming increasingly endangered because of illegal hunting activities in Indonesia. If governments introduced stricter laws and enforced stronger punishments, fewer people would harm endangered
species
Use synonyms
. Another important factor contributing to
biodiversity
Use synonyms
loss
Use synonyms
 is climate change. Rising temperatures, droughts, and environmental pollution can damage natural habitats and make it difficult for plants and animals to survive.
For instance
Linking Words
, some plant
species
Use synonyms
 are unable to grow properly because of extreme weather conditions and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of clean water.
Consequently
Linking Words
, many ecosystems are gradually being destroyed, which affects
biodiversity
Use synonyms
 around the world. One effective solution is for governments to introduce stricter environmental
regulations
Use synonyms
 and increase public awareness about wildlife protection. Authorities should punish illegal hunting more seriously and encourage companies to reduce environmental damage.
In addition
Linking Words
, people should be educated about the importance of protecting nature and preserving ecosystems. These measures can help reduce
biodiversity
Use synonyms
loss
Use synonyms
 and protect endangered
species
Use synonyms
 in the future. In conclusion,
biodiversity
Use synonyms
loss
Use synonyms
 is mainly caused by weak environmental
regulations
Use synonyms
 and climate change. Governments and individuals must work together to protect wildlife and natural habitats. By introducing stricter laws and improving environmental awareness, many animal and plant
species
Use synonyms
 can be preserved for future generations.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
For task response, you answer both questions clearly, but your ideas could be a little more fully developed.
task response
For task response, add one more clear cause or one more practical solution to make your answer stronger.
task response
For task response, your examples are relevant, but they are a bit general in some parts. Try to give one more specific result or detail.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and the order of ideas is clear.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, linking words are used well, but you can vary them more instead of repeating similar patterns.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some body paragraphs could connect ideas more smoothly with short topic links between sentences.
task response
You clearly answer both parts of the question: causes and solutions.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and stay on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has one main focus, so the essay is easy to read.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: