IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The plan below shows a school in 1985 and the school now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The map illustrates a school
field
Use synonyms
 from 1985, and the same
field
Use synonyms
 nowadays. The plan shows an increase in the school population, from 1500 students in 1985 to 2300 students today.
Overall
Linking Words
, the plans show that the spaces have been divided into
different
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
multiple sectors and have been organised differently. In 1985, the playing
field
Use synonyms
occupies
Wrong verb form
occupied
show examples
 a big space on the plan, compared to the present fields that have been reduced and sectioned into pools and a fitness centre
along with
Linking Words
 the
field
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, there has been an increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 classroom blocks compared to the past, with nowadays maps having one block more than the 1985 plan.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the entryway on the maps has changed through the years from a square entryway to a circular one, and the path that led to the playing fields has been removed. In the past, the office was located at the front of the school
field
Use synonyms
, and it
remains
Wrong verb form
has remained
show examples
 there till nowadays.
In addition
Linking Words
, the playing
field
Use synonyms
, classroom and car park have stayed in the same area but have been reduced or increased in some ways in comparison to a few years ago.

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task response
Add a clearer overview with the biggest changes in one short part.
task response
Compare more key parts of the map, like where new buildings are and what was removed.
task response
Use more exact words for place and size, such as left, right, center, larger, and smaller.
coherence and cohesion
Put similar changes together in one paragraph to make the report easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like while, also, in contrast, and however in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are too general. Add one or two clear details in each main point.
task response
There is a clear opening that tells what the plans show.
task response
You include an overview and mention the main change in student numbers.
coherence and cohesion
The essay compares past and present in several parts.
coherence and cohesion
The report has clear paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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