Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Public
health
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plays a crucial role in today’s society and for each individual, yet there is ongoing debate about the most effective way to achieve
this
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goal. Some argue that increasing the number of
sports
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facilities
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,
such
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as fitness centres, swimming pools, and stadiums, is the best approach. Others believe that additional measures are necessary to address public
health
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challenges, including the importance of exercise and a balanced diet.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own view.
Body · 1
On the one hand, increasing the number of
sports
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facilities
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offers several unique advantages, particularly in terms of social development. One of the primary benefits is the encouragement for people to exercise more regularly. When there are easily accessible places to engage in
sports
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, individuals may feel more motivated to stay physically active.
For example
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, a gym or swimming pool located near residential areas can provide convenient options for those looking to improve their fitness.
Moreover
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, having more
facilities
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available can attract a wide range of age groups, from children to the elderly, to participate in physical activities. Regular exercise can prevent many
health
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issues,
such
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as obesity, heart disease, and diabetes, which supports the idea that increasing
sports
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facilities
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could significantly enhance public
health
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.
Body · 2
On the other hand
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, some argue that merely providing more
sports
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facilities
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is insufficient. Many factors affect public
health
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beyond physical activity, including a balanced diet, mental
health
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, and
access
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to medical services.
For instance
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, even if numerous
sports
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facilities
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are available, people may not utilise them if they lack education about healthy lifestyles or face barriers
such
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as time constraints or financial difficulties.
Additionally
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, promoting healthy eating habits and offering mental
health
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support are crucial for ensuring a healthier population. Public
health
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campaigns, improved healthcare
access
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, and educational programs on nutrition and mental well-being could be more effective than focusing solely on
sports
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facilities
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.
Body · 3
In my opinion,
while
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increasing the number of
sports
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facilities
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can positively impact public
health
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, a combination of approaches is necessary to tackle the complex issue of public
health
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effectively. Governments should invest in
sports
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facilities
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while
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also
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prioritising public
health
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education, promoting balanced diets, and improving
access
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to healthcare. By addressing these factors, we can achieve greater improvements in public
health
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, investing in
sports
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facilities
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and promoting healthy practices offers distinct advantages. Building more
sports
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facilities
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can encourage physical activity, but other measures,
such
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as education, healthcare
access
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, and nutrition, must
also
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be prioritised to improve public
health
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effectively. A balanced approach is essential for achieving lasting results.

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task response
For task response, your answer covers both sides and your own view, which is good. To get a higher score, make your main ideas a bit more direct and strong in each body part.
task response
For task response, use more real and clear examples. Your gym and swimming pool example is relevant, but it is still quite general.
task response
For task response, be careful with one idea in paragraph 2. You say sports facilities help public health, but you also mention social development. This part is a little off the main task.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow because the order is clear: intro, one side, other side, opinion, end. This is a strong point.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some linking words are used well, like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. To get higher, vary them a little more and make some links inside paragraphs more natural.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, most main points are explained, but some support could be deeper. For example, explain more clearly why education or cost stops people from using sports places.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and give your opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and fit the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, so the essay is easy to read.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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