Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Public
health
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plays a vital role in human
health
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. A group of individuals believe that the best way to improve public
health
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is by increasing a wide range of
sports
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facilities
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.
However
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, others argue that
this
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solution is not enough . In my opinion, not only
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sports
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can sports facilities
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facilities
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can encourage
people
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to do exercise more
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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also
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combination
Correct article usage
a combination
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of various measures is more effective . Examining the former opinion , increasing the number of
sports
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facilities
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.
This
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is because
sports
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activities
brings
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bring
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a lot of benefits for individuals.
For example
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, parks , gyms and swimming pools provide opportunities for
people
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to take part in physical activities. Regular exercise helps
people
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build muscle strength, stay in shape and increase the immune system .
Moreover
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,
sports
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activities
also
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improve mental
health
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by reducing stress and boosting mood after a long day .
Therefore
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, many
sports
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facilities
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can encourage
people
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to maintain a healthier
lifestyle
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.
On the other hand
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, the environment
also
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has a profound impact on public
health
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.
This
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is because public
health
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is influenced by a variety of factors, especially in diet and
lifestyle
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.
For example
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, unhealthy food and
lifestyle
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can destroy
people
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’s
health
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.
Therefore
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,
government
Correct article usage
the government
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should focus on
health
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education,
organize
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organise
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regular
health
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check-ups and raise awareness for individuals to prevent many
health
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problems . In conclusion , not only expand in
sports
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facilities
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but
also
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promote many educational programs
such
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as
health
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education and
health
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lifestyle
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.
This
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is the best way to develop public
health
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effective
Rephrase
effectively
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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Say more about why sports places help, and why other steps help too.
task response
Give your opinion in a very clear way in each body part, not only in the start and end.
task response
Use one clear main idea in each paragraph, then explain it and give one strong example.
coherence and cohesion
Your order is good, but some sentences are not complete or are joined in the wrong way. Check sentence form.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Good words are: first, also, however, for example, therefore, in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph flow better by connecting one sentence to the next with clear meaning.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
task response
Your ideas are relevant to the topic of public health.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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