IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people consider it necessary for the government to subsidise all universities to ensure that all eligible students can attend college free of charge. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people consider it necessary for the government to subsidise all universities to ensure that all eligible
students
Use synonyms
 can attend college free of charge. I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea,
although
Linking Words
students
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 of low socio-economic status can be exempt from
tuition
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fees
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. The staggering cost of
tuition
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fees
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 can raise
students
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’ engagement
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 the staggering financial cost may pressure them to take
this
Linking Words
 opportunity more seriously. They may finance their
education
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 with their own savings or the money borrowed from relatives, so they would do the utmost to complete all courses and obtain a degree as soon as possible. If they fail to pass any exam or gain a passing grade for any assignment, they might have to delay the plan to enter the workforce.
This
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 may incur a higher cost than they can afford.
This
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 sense of urgency would disappear if they had free access to
education
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. Absenteeism and passing rates of each subject would increase markedly, making it difficult for a tertiary institution to operate effectively. Another reason for charging
tuition
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 is that it can lighten the burden on the government and increase financial resources available for other levels of
education
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. University
students
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 have reached adulthood, when they are capable of earning a living. If they place value on academic qualifications, they can set aside part of their income to finance their degree courses.
By comparison
Linking Words
, primary and secondary
education
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 deserve more
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
government expenditure as
students
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 are still deemed as minors, who are not legally permitted to work as paid employees. Postgraduate programmes are
also
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 in need of financial support from the state, without which universities would lose the battle with the private sector for talented researchers.
On the other hand
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, it may be reasonable to make some exceptions and provide less well-off
students
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 with free
education
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. Free
tuition
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 can encourage these young
students
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 to attend college and increase
knowledge
Correct determiner usage
their knowledge
show examples
 so they are able to find employment in
this
Linking Words
 knowledge-based economy. Without a tertiary-level qualification, they might end up working in low-paid, manual work,
while
Linking Words
 their counterparts from well-off backgrounds dominate the high-paying, professional jobs,
such
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 as medicine and law, which require advanced qualifications.
This
Linking Words
 can perpetuate the income disparity problem of a country.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
students
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 from disadvantaged backgrounds can be exempt from
tuition
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fees
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,
while
Linking Words
 it is not acceptable to abolish
tuition
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fees
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 for everybody.

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task response
For task response, your view is clear from the start and stays the same. This is good. To make it stronger, add one more direct reason why free college for all is not the best use of public money.
task response
For task response, some ideas are strong, but one point is not fully safe: you say free study may make students less serious. This can happen, but you should explain it more carefully or give a real example.
task response
For task response, your last paragraph gives a fair other side and supports help for poor students. This helps answer 'to what extent' well.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the essay has a clear 4-part plan: intro, two main reasons, one exception, and a short end. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, most topic sentences are clear. To improve more, use a few simpler link words and make the move between paragraph 2 and 3 smoother.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ideas inside each paragraph usually stay on one main point. Still, in paragraph 1, the line about absenteeism and passing rates is a bit confusing and may weaken the flow.
task response
Task response: You answer all parts of the question and give a balanced but clear position.
task response
Task response: Your point about support for poor students is relevant and well linked to social fairness.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The essay is well ordered, and each paragraph has a clear job.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The ending matches the introduction and gives a clear final answer.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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