Doctor should be responsible for educating their patients about how to improve their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is irrefutable to state that
doctors
Use synonyms
play a vital role in the healthcare system, and it is their responsibility to treat the illnesses of their
patients
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. It is a controversial topic these days that physicians should take an incentive to encourage their
patients
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to adopt a healthy lifestyle. I strongly agree with
this
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statement because individuals always take the advice of medical experts too seriously.
To begin
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with, medical professionals are highly educated. The
doctors
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are highly qualified as they pass various medical examinations
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such
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, such
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Change preposition
as NEET
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NEET
Punctuation problem
NEET,
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to become an expert. They have a profound knowledge of
human
Correct article usage
the human
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body, diseases, and the precautions to cure the illness. So,
doctors
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should teach
people
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to stay healthy
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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will help prevent
patients
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from severe illnesses.
For instance
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, physicians should teach
people
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the importance of healthy eating, diet plans, physical
practice
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activity
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, proper sleep, and pursue good habits. Resultantly, it will assist factions to overcome their stress and stay happy. If humans
will
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apply
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consistently follow the healthy lifestyle recommended by their family doctor, there will be
less
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fewer
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chances to fall sick.
As a result
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, it will increase their life
longevity
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expectancy
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. Moving
further
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,
doctors
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are
also
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most
Correct article usage
the most
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trusted source of medical information. When someone is feeling unwell, they quickly visit the doctor because they
knew
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know
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that
doctor
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the doctor
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could
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can
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help them to recover. Medical experts should encourage their clients to follow
healthy
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a healthy
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lifestyle by providing some knowledge about the harmful diseases, causes and
affects
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effects
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on the body. If
patients
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know
,
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apply
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how their particular behaviour can impact their
health
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, they will try to be
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health conscious
Correct your spelling
health-conscious
.
Moreover
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,
nowadays
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nowadays,
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some are always confused with healthy eating. With the increment of influencers and online dietitians,
people
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are always confused
what
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about what
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to
Verb problem
is
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good for healthy eating and what is not. Because everybody has their
different
Correct word choice
own different
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assumptions
of
Change preposition
about
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staying healthy.
For example
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, these days, some
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
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intermediate fasting is
convenient
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a convenient
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way to stay healthy, some say to skip
the
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apply
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breakfast and have a big lunch, but others say it is crucial to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner for
Use synonyms
health
Replace the word
healthy
living.
However
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, some
people
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counterclaim that
doctors
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should not take the whole responsibility alone. As they have an enormous number of
patients
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everyday
Rephrase
every day
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,
so
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apply
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it is hard to educate everybody in just
few
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a few
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minutes
meeting
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apply
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. The professionals can only advise them about their current
health
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condition. Meanwhile, some say that nurses, dietitians, pharmacist could aid individuals by educating them about the benefits of
balanced
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a balanced
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diet, daily exercise, and avoiding junk food. In conclusion,
doctors
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are known as
a
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the
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second God as they save the lives of
people
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. By having a vast knowledge about
human
Correct article usage
the human
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body, medical experts can
gave
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give
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a wise recommendation for
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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livelihood.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part. Put one clear point first, then explain it, then give one example.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a simple and correct way. Some lines are hard to follow because the ideas jump too fast.
task achievement
Add more direct support for your examples. Some examples are too general and do not fully prove your point.
task achievement
Stay close to the question all the time. Focus more on why doctors should or should not have this duty.
task achievement
Check word choice and grammar because unclear lines can weaken your ideas.
task achievement
You give a clear opinion in the first part and keep it through the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, body parts, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You try to give examples about food, sleep, and exercise, which helps your ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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