People after retirement often require financial assistance. Should the government be responsible for this or should the individuals make provisions for themselves? Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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People
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often require financial
support
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after
retirement
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because their earning capacity declines significantly.
While
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some argue that
governments
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should be responsible for providing
this
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assistance
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, others believe that
individuals
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should prepare financially for their old age.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives before arguing that
responsibility
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should be shared,
although
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governments
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should play the leading role in ensuring retirees enjoy a decent standard of living. On the one hand, many
people
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believe that
individuals
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should make provisions for themselves during their working years. Since
retirement
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is a predictable stage of life, employees have decades to save money, invest in pension schemes, and build financial security. If
people
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rely entirely on state
support
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,
governments
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may face an unsustainable financial burden, particularly in countries with ageing populations.
Furthermore
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, personal
responsibility
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encourages
individuals
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to manage their finances wisely and plan for the future.
For example
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, workers who regularly contribute to
retirement
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funds are often better prepared for unexpected expenses in old age than those who depend solely on public
assistance
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.
On the other hand
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, there are strong reasons why
governments
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should assume primary
responsibility
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for supporting retired citizens. Many
people
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spend their entire lives paying taxes and contributing to economic growth, and it is
therefore
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reasonable for society to
support
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them when they are no longer able to work.
Moreover
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, not everyone has the opportunity to accumulate sufficient savings. Low-income workers may struggle to set money aside,
while
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economic crises, inflation, or medical emergencies can quickly erode personal savings. Without government
assistance
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, many elderly
people
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could face poverty and an inadequate quality of life. State-funded pensions and healthcare programmes
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, therefore
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therefore
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therefore,
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serve as essential safeguards against financial hardship. In conclusion,
although
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individuals
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should take steps to prepare for
retirement
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,
governments
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have a greater
responsibility
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to provide financial
support
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for older citizens. A combination of personal savings and public
assistance
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is the most effective way to ensure financial security in
retirement
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.

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task response
For task response, your answer is full and clear. To get a higher score, add one more very clear real world example.
task response
For task response, your opinion is clear, but you can make it even stronger by showing exactly why the government should have the main role.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow. To get a higher score, link one idea to the next in a more natural way, not only with basic signpost words.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each main part has good support, but one or two ideas could be developed a little more.
task response
For task response, you answered both views and gave your own opinion clearly.
task response
For task response, your ideas stay on the topic all through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each body part has one main idea and this helps the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial assistance
  • retirement
  • provisions
  • governmental pension plans
  • social security
  • welfare programs
  • financial literacy
  • private pensions
  • savings accounts
  • investments
  • economic stability
  • poverty line
  • safety net
  • personal responsibility
  • incentivizing
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