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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying the fact that nowadays we have plenty of new subjects to learn.
While
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 there is a commonly held belief that the arts
such
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 as music, drama, and
theater
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theatre
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 have surpassed other
topics
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 in terms of importance, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that our living in a
rapid
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rapidly
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 digital world it become a necessity to focus on learning its language which has been translated into various new
topics
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.
To begin
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 with, in
this
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 modern life, almost every surrounding thing has been digitalized.
In other words
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, the digital world has affected everything in people's lives including the art itself.
In addition
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, if we do not focus on learning these new subjects, we will be left behind.
For example
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, in the modern world, art lovers
such
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 as music should learn the new techniques and smart devices that have been invented to play and listen to music. Another point to consider is that the school's disciplines are significantly critical because we are gambling on our community's future. It is
also
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 possible to say that in schools we are preparing the future leaders, so we have to be worried about what they are being learned in schools.
Moreover
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, students have different interests so we should realize the importance of
this
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 diversity.
For instance
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, there was a study a couple of years ago, which found that a great proportion of school students enjoy learning programming and science more than arts. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that there are many other
topics
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 more important than arts to be learned in schools, and we should be conscious of the impact of modern
topics
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.
However
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, we should
also
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 give our students the chance to recognize their interests and desires.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure the introduction clearly outlines your position and previews the key points you will discuss.
supported main points
Work on developing clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument.
complete response
Remember to address the prompt fully and provide a balanced argument if the question requires it. Include a paragraph discussing why arts subjects could be beneficial, even if your ultimate position differs.
relevant specific examples
Develop your ideas fully with specific, relevant examples that directly support your arguments. Include more detailed illustrations of your points, preferably with concrete statistics, surveys, or studies.
logical structure
Ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth and logical. Use cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Aim to present a clear and comprehensive central idea in each paragraph that ties back to your overall thesis.
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