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Writing Samples
Band 7

Ending the world’s reliance on fossil fuels will be a positive development (agree/disagree)

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There is an ongoing debate about whether the global shift away from fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 would be a positive development. I strongly agree with
this
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 view
due to
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 its numerous benefits. In
this
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 essay, I will explain my perspective in detail. First of all, ending the use of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 can benefit the environment.
This
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 is because heavy reliance on fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 produces large amounts of greenhouse gases,
such
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 as carbon dioxide, which significantly raise global temperatures and contribute to global warming.
This
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 is a serious global issue as it leads to extreme weather conditions, including floods, heatwaves, and droughts, resulting in more natural disasters. India is a good example of
this
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 trend, with average temperatures increasing by around 0.6°C to 0.9°C each year, meaning that Indians are suffering from increasingly extreme heat.
Moreover
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, another important benefit is that the natural environment would be less damaged, as humans would no longer need to engage in mining and oil drilling activities.
This
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further
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 helps prevent animal extinction and
protect
Correct subject-verb agreement
protects
show examples
 their natural habitats. Meanwhile, to meet people’s growing
energy
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 demands—especially as modern technologies that require large amounts of electricity continue to expand—sustainable
energy
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 sources
such
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 as solar, wind, and hydropower can serve as effective alternatives.
This
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 can significantly reduce environmental degradation by decreasing dependence on fossil
fuels
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. In the long run, it helps preserve natural resources for future generations.
To sum up
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, stopping the use of fossil
fuels
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 not only helps slow down global warming and reduce animal extinction, but
also
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 encourages the adoption of sustainable
energy
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.
This
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 is especially important in today’s high-tech era, where
energy
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 consumption is extremely high. Ultimately, it helps protect the planet and ensures a better environment for future generations.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea in each body part more clear at the start.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words with more care. Some ideas repeat, so the flow can be tighter.
task response
Give one more direct example with facts that clearly support your point.
task response
Explain the India example more carefully. The number about yearly rise may not sound right.
task response
You answer the question well, but you can add one short opposite view and then say why you still agree.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and a clear end.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow in most parts.
task response
You answer the question directly and keep the same position all through the essay.
task response
You give relevant reasons about climate change, nature, and clean energy.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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