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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays , more people are choosing to work from home. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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There is a growing trend where many people working from
home
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 become increasingly popular
due to
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 advances in technology.
While
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this
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 trend has some drawbacks , I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because it saves
time
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 and money and provides greater flexibility. One major advantage of working from
home
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 is that employees can save both
time
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 and transportation costs . People no longer need to spend hours commuting to and from their workplace every day.
As a result
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 , they can use
this
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 extra
time
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 for
work
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 , family activities , or personal development.
In addition
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 , avoiding daily travel helps workers reduce expenses on fuel , public transport and other community costs. Another benefit is the flexibility that remote
work
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 offers. Employees can often
organize
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organise
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 their schedules more effectively and
work
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 in a comfortable environment .
This
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 can lead to higher productivity and improved job satisfaction .
For example
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 , many customer service representatives and online teachers can perform their duties efficiently without being physically present in
a
Correct article usage
an
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 office.
However
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 , working from
home
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also
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 has some disadvantages . One if the main issues is the lack of face - to - face communication with colleagues .
This
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 may lead to misunderstandings and weaker teamwork .
Forthermore
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Furthermore
, some people find it difficult to concentrate at
home
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 because of distractions
such
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 as household chores or family members. In conclusion ,
although
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 remote
work
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 can create communication challenges and distractions , its benefits , particularly
time
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 and cost savings
as well as
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 greater
flexibility
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flexibility,
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 are more significant .
Therefore
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 , I believe that the advantages of working from
home
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 outweigh the disadvantages.

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task response
Make your first line more clear. It should say the topic in a simple and correct way.
task response
Add one more clear example to show why home work is good or bad.
task response
Explain the bad side a little more, so your answer feels more full and fair.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word errors, because they can make the flow less smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some are good, but a few feel a bit forced.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same grammar pattern in each main idea to make your essay easier to follow.
task response
Your essay answers the question and gives a clear opinion from start to end.
task response
You write about both good and bad sides, which is important for this task.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow because each paragraph has one main point.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear ending.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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