IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission outweighthe diadvantages ?

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Now a days
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 spend their time
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping even
they
Correct word choice
when they
show examples
 are in
toilet
Correct article usage
the toilet
show examples
, kitchen,
bedroom
Correct word choice
or bedroom
show examples
.
Its
Use the right word
It's
show examples
 a bad habit. I think
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 might be good for
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 because
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 things
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
 it
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 can be bad too because its watse lots of money and
waste of
Correct subject-verb agreement
wastes
show examples
 my time
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 think
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 50:50.
Also
Linking Words
, shopping can make
people
Use synonyms
 feel happy and
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
 after work or school. Many
people
Use synonyms
 enjoy going shopping with their friends and family. It can
also
Linking Words
 create more jobs and help many businesses grow.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 buy things that they do not really need.
As a result
Linking Words
, they may spend too much money and have financial problems.
In addition
Linking Words
, too much shopping can create more waste and harm the environment.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think shopping for leisure has both advantages and disadvantages, and
people
Use synonyms
 should do it in moderation.

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task response
Task response: Answer the question in a more clear way from the start. Say your main view one time and keep it the same.
task response
Task response: Give one or two real examples to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Task response: Develop each main point more. Explain why shopping is good for the economy and why it can be bad for people.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Group your ideas into clear parts: intro, good sides, bad sides, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use easy linking words well, like first, also, however, because, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Make sure each sentence connects well to the next one. Some parts now feel sudden or repeated.
task response
Task response: You talk about both good and bad sides of shopping.
task response
Task response: Your main idea is clear: shopping has both good and bad points.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You use some linking words like also, however, as a result, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The ending gives a clear final view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • admission fee
  • operational costs
  • funding new exhibits
  • visitor experience
  • accessibility
  • inclusivity
  • educational impact
  • cultural preservation
  • tiered pricing system
  • revenue generation
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