Many parents go to work in other countries and take family with them. Do the advantages in this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, many parents move to other countries to work , and they take their family with them.
This
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situation has both advantages and disadvantages.
However
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, I believe the assets are much greater than the disadvantages. On the one hand, there are some negative sides to
this
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development.
First,
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a clan may have problems adapting to a new agrarian
.
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society.
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They may not understand the language and can find it difficult to make friends. Because of
this
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, they may feel unhappy at first
,
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apply
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.
Second,
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moving to another rustic can cost a lot of money. Families need to pay for housing, food and transport.
Also
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, parents may become busy with work and spend less time with their clan.
On the other hand
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, there are many more assets. The big advantage is better job opportunities and a higher income. Parents can earn more money and improve their family's life.
For example
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, they can buy better things and support their household's education. Another benefit is that the tribe can study in good schools and get a better education.
This
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may help them have a successful future.
In addition
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, living in another country helps people learn a new language and know different cultures. Folks can become more independent and develop useful life skills. Families can
also
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enjoy a better standard of living. In conclusion,
although
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moving to another country has some disadvantages, I think the advantages clearly outweigh them because families can get better jobs, better education and more opportunities in life.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You say bad points and good points, but some ideas are short.
task response
Add one more clear example. The essay has only one short example.
task response
Explain why the good points are stronger than the bad points in more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow, with clear start, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some are good, like 'On the one hand' and 'In addition'.
coherence and cohesion
Some word choice makes the meaning less clear, so the flow becomes weak.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion.
task response
You include both disadvantages and advantages.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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