IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

International travel is becoming cheaper and more and more countries are opening doors for it. Does the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

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In today's fast-paced world,
countries
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 provide broader convenience to
tourists
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, and there has been a significant reduction in
transportation
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 costs.
While
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 these factors have some drawbacks, I strongly believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. One major upside of opening doors for
tourists
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 is that tourism is a fundamental pillar of the
economy
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 because it supports local producers and creates job
opportunities
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. As a significant number of
tourists
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 come to the country for vacation, they are very eager to taste local food and buy souvenirs unique to the country, allowing local producers to open new shops and hire new employees to meet the
tourists
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' needs.
For instance
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, some Balkan
countries
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 have eased their visa requirements, and there is no need for a visa to visit these
countries
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, which in turn attracts many
tourists
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 to come to these
countries
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.
As a result
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,
tourists
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 spend a significant amount of money in the shops, which boosts the
economy
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.
Thus
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, it has a positive impact on the
economy
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.
However
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, one concern
of
Change preposition
with
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 cheaper
transportation
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 is that it requires an excessive amount of
diesel
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 consumption that has detrimental effects on the environment.
This
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 is because , having cheaper
travel
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opportunities
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, people prefer going on a holiday during weekends or their off days.
As a result
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, people start to use ships, planes and buses extensively to
travel
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 to different
countries
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 that are powered by
diesel
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. To illustrate, cheaper plane ticket options attract many
tourists
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 from
U.S.
Correct article usage
the U.S.
show examples
 to
travel
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 to Mexico's sandy beaches, and more individuals plan their long weekend holidays in Mexico, leading
transportation
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 companies to purchase an enormous amount of
diesel
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 to satisfy the extreme demand.
Therefore
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, cheaper
transportation
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 leads to excessive use of vehicles that are powered by
diesel
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 that has a negative effect on the environment. In conclusion,
while
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 cheaper
transportation
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opportunities
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 and making
travel
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 easier have some disadvantages, they have some advantages ,
such
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 as boosting the
economy
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 and creating job
opportunities
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. These benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

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task response
For task response, answer the question more directly. Say clearly why the good side is stronger than the bad side in each body part.
task response
For task response, develop your ideas a bit more. Some points are clear, but they need deeper explanation.
task response
For task response, be careful with examples. Your examples fit the topic, but some feel a little general.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some linking is good, but a few sentences are long and heavy. Make them shorter for better flow.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, check small word use like repeated words and extra spaces around commas. This will make the essay smoother.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your opinion clearly.
task response
You use examples about Balkan countries and Mexico, which helps support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well organized into introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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