IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think the government should be responsible for solving the pollution poblems which result from heavy traffic. To what extent do you agree?

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Many people argue that the responsibility for tackling
pollution
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 caused by heavy
traffic
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 should rest primarily with the government.
Although
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 I acknowledge that public authorities play a crucial role in addressing
this
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 issue, I believe that reducing
traffic
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-related
pollution
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 requires a shared effort between
governments
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 and individual citizens. On the one hand,
governments
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 are undoubtedly in the strongest position to combat
pollution
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 on a large scale. Since
traffic
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 congestion is often a consequence of inadequate infrastructure and ineffective urban planning, it is the state's responsibility to implement long-term solutions.
For instance
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,
governments
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 can invest in extensive public
transport
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 networks, including buses, metro systems, and railways, making them affordable, reliable, and accessible to the general public.
As a result
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, commuters are more likely to abandon private vehicles in favour of public transportation.
Furthermore
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, authorities can introduce stricter vehicle-emission regulations, impose congestion charges in city centres, and promote the adoption of environmentally friendly technologies.
Such
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 measures have the potential to significantly reduce
pollution
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 levels
while
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 encouraging more sustainable travel habits.
On the other hand
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, government intervention alone is unlikely to solve the problem entirely. Individual behaviour is a major contributing factor to
traffic
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 congestion and the resulting environmental damage. Even where efficient public
transport
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 systems exist, many people continue to rely on private cars for convenience.
Therefore
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, citizens must be willing to modify their travel habits by using public
transport
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, car-sharing schemes, cycling, or walking whenever feasible.
In addition
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, consumers can choose low-emission or electric vehicles, thereby reducing their environmental footprint. If large numbers of people adopted
such
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 practices, the cumulative effect on air quality would be substantial. Ultimately,
while
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 both
governments
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 and citizens have important roles to play, I would argue that the former should bear greater responsibility because it possesses the legislative authority and financial resources necessary to implement large-scale changes.
Nevertheless
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, without public cooperation, even the most effective policies are unlikely to achieve their intended outcomes. In conclusion,
although
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governments
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 should take the lead in addressing
pollution
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 resulting from heavy
traffic
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, individuals must
also
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 contribute through responsible
transport
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 choices.
Consequently
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,
this
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 issue can only be resolved through a combination of effective public policy and individual commitment.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear and you give your opinion all the way. To make it even better, add one more real or more exact example.
task response
For task response, you discuss both sides well, but you can make your position a little stronger in the second body part.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and each paragraph has one main idea. To improve more, use a few fewer linking words so the flow feels more natural.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some points could be developed a little more with one extra sentence of support.
task response
For task response, you answer the question fully and keep a clear position from start to end.
task response
For task response, your ideas are relevant and well explained.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your paragraphs connect well and the order of ideas is logical.
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