IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

as people rely more and more on technology to solve problems the ability of hmans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate

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Some opine that
,
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apply
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 the human ability
to
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apply
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to think for themselves will deteriorate as the dependence on technology increases. I agree with that statement.One reason for
this
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 is artificial intelligence. With the introduction of
this
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, people have been relying on it for every task and problem, even the simple ones. Using AI to generate and make things like writing an email or how to respond to
this
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 message from my senior. In the long term, the ability to accomplish quick tasks like
this
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 will take longer than it actually takes without
this
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 tool.Another example
for
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of
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this
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 is
,
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 students utilising the tool in an immoral way. They ask ChatGPT for answers to their homework. They resulted
to
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in
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 them not actually understanding the concept of the topic.
For instance
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, there have been
many
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several school situations
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where children ace their assignments ,
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however;
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 when it comes to their graded tests and
exams
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exams,
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 their scores are significantly lower.Research has shown
,
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that
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 using technology reduces human skills
such
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 as
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 creativity
innovation
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, innovation
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 and problem solving. Scrolling all day on reels
which
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, which
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 gives you fake dopamine. It reduces the attention span ,
therefore
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;
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,
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this
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 tech can give you a response within seconds.
This
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 is a convenience so people do so often as they have no patience to do it themselves
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, and
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requires
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it requires
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 less
efforts
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effort
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.From my perspective, I agree with the statement as I have experienced it myself. At
moments
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moments,
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 I’d spend asking Gemini for ideas so often that when time came
around
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around,
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 I could not generate ideas from the top of my head like I used to.
Therefore
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, being dependent on technology can result
to
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in
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 a depreciation in human skills.

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coherence cohesion
Give one clear main idea in each body part, then explain it more.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a simple and correct way, like 'first', 'for example', 'also', and 'therefore'.
coherence cohesion
Avoid very long sentences. Shorter sentences will make your meaning clear.
task achievement
Answer the question in a more full way. You agree, but you should also explain why this is important in society.
task achievement
Develop your examples more. Show how each example proves your main point.
task achievement
Be careful with repeated ideas about AI and technology. Try to add one new angle.
task achievement
You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and the end.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
task achievement
You use real examples about students and daily life.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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