Nowadays parents are sending their children to trips abroad for educational purpose. What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?

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Recently, there has been an argument for sending
kids
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to
study
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abroad. Some families believe that it is the best choice for their
children
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.
While
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the latter agrees with teaching their
kids
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in the same country or even in a
home school
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homeschool
. There are benefits and drawbacks to
this
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statement , and here we will know what they are and why. On the one hand, one major benefit of studying abroad is that
children
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become more independent. They will be responsible for cooking, cleaning, paying bills and saving money.
For instance
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, a
study
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conducted in several European countries found that
children
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who studied abroad developed better communication skills and became more independent than those who stayed in their home countries. That’s why families want to send their
children
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. Because it helps
kids
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become not only independent but
also
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more skilled.
On the other hand
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,
this
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trend has several drawbacks.
However
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, one major disadvantage is that
children
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may find it difficult to live in a new country and learn a foreign
language
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. Because the
language
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barrier can be a problem in daily life. These challenges make
kids
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feel exhausted and depressed if they can’t understand the
language
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.
For example
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, if some
children
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from the United Kingdom went to
study
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abroad in South Korea, and they don’t know how to speak the Korean
language
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, they may find it difficult to continue
the
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their
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education
system
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apply
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.
As a result
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, parents prefer to keep their
children
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in the same country to learn and live better than these difficulties. In conclusion,
while
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there are many advantages to sending
kids
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to
study
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abroad, there are
also
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drawbacks and challenges that should be taken into consideration. It depends on the parents and their
children
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, what’s better for them to learn in a safe environment.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about good and bad points, but some ideas are short.
task response
Add one more clear idea for each side, so your answer feels more complete.
task response
Use more direct examples. Your examples are fine, but they can be more real and more exact.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Do not start many lines with 'Because' or 'However' in a way that breaks the flow. Join ideas in one full sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are not smooth. Use simple link words well, like 'First', 'Also', 'For example', 'As a result'.
task response
You answer the main question and discuss both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Your main ideas are easy to see in each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You have both an introduction and a conclusion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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