IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead, they get news about the world from the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →
Nowadays, the amount of watching
news
Use synonyms
 on TV channels and reading
news
Use synonyms
 in newspapers is decreasing, and obtaining information online has become common among individuals.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 there are some drawbacks, I firmly agree that observing
news
Use synonyms
 on social media is highly beneficial. There are several disadvantages of checking new information. One of the severe downsides is that it has a profound impact on
health
Use synonyms
. People spend most of their time reading
news
Use synonyms
 online,
influencing their
Correct word order
which negatively influences their health
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 negatively.
For example
Linking Words
, in Japan, 20% of the individuals struggled with serious
health
Use synonyms
 issues,
such
Linking Words
 as obesity, reduced eyesight, and cancer, after reading
news
Use synonyms
 on some
telegram
Capitalize the proper name
Telegram
show examples
 channels continuously.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, consuming
news
Use synonyms
 online leads to misunderstanding. Every person can create content through social media platforms. Readers cannot know whether they are reliable or not. Despite these
disadvantageous sides
Check wording
disadvantages
show examples
, there are some advantageous sides to consuming
news
Use synonyms
 online. One clear positive side is that it’s comfortable and convenient. People can read them anywhere and anytime, because they are instantaneous. People can be easily aware of some natural disasters, politics, and serious issues within a minute.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they can be updated immediately, which traditional newspapers cannot do.
Moreover
Linking Words
, digital pages are often interactive and engaging. They are made of animations, edits, music, and modern ways, which capture an individual’s attention. Online
news
Use synonyms
 channels contain both national and international events, which are intriguing for individuals.
To sum up
Linking Words
, despite notable drawbacks like misinformation and
health
Use synonyms
 challenges, shifting to online
news
Use synonyms
 is ultimately a positive development. The Internet gives opportunity to access to information, provides diverse perspectives, and delivers real-time updates.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
For task response, your answer is clear, but you should explain your ideas more fully.
task response
For task response, your example about health is not very strong or fully clear.
task response
For task response, you give your opinion, and this is good, but your good side needs more support than the bad side.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear 4-part form: start, bad side, good side, end.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some linking words are used well, like 'Furthermore', 'Despite', and 'Moreover'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some sentences repeat the same idea, such as comfort and speed, so the flow can be tighter.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, a few word choices make the meaning less clear, so the reader must stop and think.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion that this is a positive development.
task response
You include both bad points and good points, so your response feels balanced.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a short conclusion, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea, and this helps the essay stay organized.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: