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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Cars have become a convenient and economical form of transport and as a result, the use of cars has increased dramatically during the last century. Discuss the problems this increase has created, and offer some practical solutions.

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In today's rapidly evolving world,
cars
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 have become increasingly popular because they are a convenient and cost-effective form of
transport
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.
However
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, I firmly believe that
this
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 growing trend can have negative impacts on the
environment
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 and public health, and it is essential that
people
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 and governments work together to mitigate the adverse effects of
this
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 trend. One of the major issues of overreliance on private
cars
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 is that it can contribute significantly to increasing traffic congestion in
cities
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, particularly big ones, which makes it difficult for
people
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 to travel across
cities
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 to perform their daily tasks, resulting in a reduced quality of life.
In addition
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, excessive
use
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 of private
vehicles
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 can increase the consumption of fossil fuels, which leads to a rise in carbon emissions. These emissions negatively influence the
environment
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 by polluting fresh water resources
,
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apply
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 and
people
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's health by increasing the prevalence of respiratory diseases
such
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 as asthma.
For instance
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, overdependence on private
vehicles
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 in big
cities
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 has made them increasingly crowded and decreased the air quality in
such
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 areas, which brings about serious social problems and places a burden on healthcare
systems
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 because of chronic illnesses.
Hence
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, overuse of private
cars
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 can give rise to long-term detrimental consequences, threatening public health and the
environment
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. To tackle these issues, cooperation of governments and
people
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 is required. Policymakers should invest in public
transport
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systems
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 to make them more reliable, affordable, and faster, which encourages individuals to
use
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 them for daily commuting without the stress of being punctual.
As a result
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, the
use
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 of
cars
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 can be reduced dramatically.
Moreover
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,
people
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 should purchase eco-friendly
vehicles
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 which rely on renewable energy and
use
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 public
transport
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 for travelling across
cities
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, which can decrease the consumption of fossil fuels and traffic congestion in
cities
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.
For example
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, investment in underground trains can provide
people
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 with a convenient and economical type of
transport
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which
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, which
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 allows them to commute quickly across
cities
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 and reduces the
use
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 of fossil fuels because they heavily rely on clean energy.
Thus
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, both governments and
people
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 should share the responsibility to achieve sustainable development.
To sum up
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, from my perspective, excessive dependence on private
vehicles
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 can exert pressure on the
environment
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 and healthcare
systems
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, which have long-term detrimental results.
Therefore
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, policymakers and
people
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 should work together and take effective measures, including making small changes in lifestyles and investing in public
transport
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systems
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systems,
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 to achieve long-term beneficial outcomes.

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task response
For task response, answer both parts in a more equal way. You explain the problems well, but the solutions part can be a little more full.
task response
For task response, some ideas are strong, but a few points are too general. Add one more clear and real example to make your answer stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow because the order is clear. Still, some long sentences can be broken into shorter ones for better flow.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, be careful with linking words. They are good, but sometimes there are many in a short space. Use them in a more natural way.
task response
For task response, you answer both parts of the question and keep your ideas on the topic.
task response
For task response, your main problems and solutions are clear and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main focus, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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