IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You live in an English speaking country and you want to do some voluntary, unpaid work in a developing country. Write a letter to a company called Cultural Expeditions, which organizes such trips. In your letter: Explain why you want to do the voluntary work. State what your skills and experience are. Indicate where you would like to volunteer and for how long.

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Dear Sir or Madam, from Cultural Expedition. My name is Jenifer, and I'm writing to enquire about the voluntary program that your company offers. I really want to use my skills to support the progression of any developing country, and I see
this
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 as an opportunity to grow personally and professionally, face new challenges and interact and learn about different cultures around the world. I am really good with languages, teaching, and teamwork. I really love to teach; it is one of my favourite things in my life. I have extensive experience working as an Early childhood teacher, so I have a lot of patience and strong pedagogical knowledge. I value connection with the community and the importance of creating strong relationships to support and create change. I would like to do my volunteer work in any country of South America,
such
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 as Colombia, Argentina or Chile, for about one year maximum. These places can be good to teach English, and I could
also
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 learn some Spanish. It would be the perfect cultural interchange. I would really appreciate more particular information about
this
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 program and destination. I would like to gain a clear understanding of the documents I need to collect. I
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look
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 forward to hearing from you. Kind regards, Jenifer Tobon

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts of the task, but some points need more detail.
task response
Task response: Say more about why South America is your first choice.
task response
Task response: The tone is mostly polite, but some lines are not fully natural for a formal letter.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter is easy to follow and ideas are in a clear order.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use linking words like also, because, and so to make ideas join more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The opening and closing have small language mistakes, so they do not sound fully clear.
task response
Task response: You clearly say why you want to do this work.
task response
Task response: You give useful details about your skills and work experience.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Each paragraph has one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear beginning, middle, and end.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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