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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, most countries improve their living standards through economic development. However, some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

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Economic
development
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 has enabled many countries to achieve higher standards of living by creating employment
opportunities
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, improving infrastructure, and enhancing public services.
However
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,
this
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 progress has
also
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 resulted in the gradual decline of certain social
values
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.
Although
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this
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 trend has some negative consequences, I believe that the advantages of economic
development
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 outweigh the disadvantages because it significantly improves
people
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's quality of
life
Punctuation problem
life,
show examples
while
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 the loss of social
values
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 can be addressed through
education
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 and stronger family
values
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. One of the greatest advantages of economic
development
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 is the improvement in
people
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's
overall
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 quality of life. As countries become more prosperous, governments are able to invest more in essential public services
such
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 as healthcare,
education
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, transportation, and public infrastructure.
In addition
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, economic growth creates more employment
opportunities
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, allowing
people
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 to earn higher incomes and enjoy better living conditions.
For example
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, many developing countries have experienced significant reductions in poverty after attracting foreign investment and expanding their industries, enabling millions of
people
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 to access better housing, healthcare, and
education
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. Another major benefit is that economic
development
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 encourages innovation and technological advancement. Modern technology has made communication, transportation, and business operations much more efficient.
People
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 can now work remotely, access online
education
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, receive medical consultations through digital platforms, and conduct financial transactions within minutes. These developments not only improve convenience but
also
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 increase productivity and create new career
opportunities
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 for young
people
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. Admittedly, rapid economic growth can weaken certain social
values
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. As
people
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 become busier pursuing successful careers and higher incomes, they may spend less time with their families and communities. Traditional customs, neighbourhood relationships, and cultural practices may gradually decline.
However
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, these drawbacks are not unavoidable. Schools can teach moral
values
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 and civic responsibility,
while
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 families can encourage children to respect cultural traditions and maintain strong relationships.
Therefore
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, the loss of social
values
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 can be reduced without slowing economic progress. In conclusion,
although
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 economic
development
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 may contribute to the decline of some traditional social
values
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, I believe its benefits are far more significant. It improves living standards, creates employment
opportunities
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, and enhances public services, all of which contribute to a better quality of life. With proper
education
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 and strong family support, societies can preserve their core
values
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while
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 continuing to enjoy the advantages of economic growth.

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task response
For task response, add one more clear example for the bad side. This will make your answer more full and fair.
task response
For task response, explain a little more why social values are lost. This will make your idea deeper.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some link words are used very well, but you can vary them more. Do not start many ideas with the same pattern.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make sure each body paragraph has one main idea only, then explain it step by step.
task response
For task response, you answer the question clearly and give your opinion all through the essay.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are clear and mostly well explained.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear four-part structure with a good introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your paragraphs are easy to follow and your ideas move in a clear order.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advanced
  • boost
  • economic growth
  • income disparity
  • rapid urbanization
  • social cohesion
  • traditional customs
  • sustainable development
  • consumerism
  • globalization
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