It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed that it is better for college
students
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to live in a school
dormitory
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than with their parents. In
this
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essay, I will express my opinion and explain why I agree with
this
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statement.
To begin
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with, living in a
dormitory
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creates stronger bonds between people. Many
students
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, by living under the same roof, face the same challenges of early adulthood and academic difficulties. They are able to help each other with homework, share meals, and support one another during difficult times. All of these interactions create stronger bonds than those formed at school, where
students
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usually spend less time together outside the classroom.
For example
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, many people believe that college friendships
last
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longer than school friendships because
students
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go through one of the most memorable periods of their lives together.
Additionally
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, living in a
dormitory
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helps
students
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develop their soft skills. Since hundreds of
students
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live in the same
dormitory
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, interacting with others is unavoidable.
Students
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often ask their roommates for help with their studies, borrow something they need, or discuss how to divide household responsibilities. They may
also
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need to solve disagreements or communicate with people from different backgrounds.
As a result
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,
students
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gradually improve their communication, teamwork, and problem-solving skills, which are valuable in both their personal and professional lives. In conclusion, living in a
dormitory
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has many advantages. It helps
students
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improve their soft skills and gives them a greater chance of making lifelong friends.

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task response
Say more about why living at home is not as good. This will make your side stronger.
task response
Add one more clear example from real life or study life.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but some points could be more full and deep.
coherence and cohesion
Use a stronger link between the second body paragraph and your main opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are a bit general. Add small details to support them better.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear paragraphing well, but you can make idea flow smoother with careful linking words.
task response
You answer the question clearly and keep the same opinion all through the essay.
task response
Your main ideas are easy to understand and mostly well explained.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, which helps the reader follow your writing.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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