Of all the global environmental problems, desertification is, perhaps, the most threatening for poor rural people. Desertification is the expansion of desert lands into previously non-desert areas. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve this problem?

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Rural
people
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have been affected by drought
crisis
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crises
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over the years.
Therefore
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, it might lead
some
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to some
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economical
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economic
challenges regarding the lack of farming, and
this
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also
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might affect urban
people
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. Global warming
boasts
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is cited
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as the most important cause
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due to
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of
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this
Linking Words
crisis.
Moreover
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, individuals use a great amount of
water
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unnecessary
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unnecessarily
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. To solve
this
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problem, governments could provide strict regulations and deliver educational programmes to the general public
accordingly
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. Over the decades, many brand-new cars have been produced by companies with technological advancements and industrialisation. Mobile vehicles release a great amount of exhaust fumes that cause carbon emissions. Eventually, carbon emission leads to global warming and
affects
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affect
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the global temperature
of weather
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apply
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.
As a result
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of
this
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, individuals face desertification.
Additionaly
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Additionally
,
people
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don't realise the importance of the
water
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resources. To illustrate, most
people
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fill their bath tabs with tons of
water
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, do their dishes
while
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keeping their taps open, and wash their cars without realising how much
water
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they waste. Several solutions could be given by governments
due to
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this
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issue. They could pass strict rules for using mobile transport systems. They could encourage their citizens to use public
transports
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transport
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more often.
Furthermore
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, they could provide dedicated bicycle and carpooling lanes to the local public. They
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also could
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could also
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deliver special programmes to raise awareness among
the
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apply
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individuals.
For instance
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, educational television programmes, advertisements and interviews with famous
people
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could help
people
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gain insights and broaden their knowledge to solve
this
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problem.
To conclude
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, we all creatures
has
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have
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been sharing the same planet
over
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for
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centuries. One potential problem in an area could spread to other places
,
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apply
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if a solution
might
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is
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not
be
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apply
show examples
found. Because of that, governments should provide various options to their citizens.

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task response
Answer both parts more directly. Say clearly what causes desertification and what steps can stop it.
task response
Use ideas that link more closely to desertification, like dry land, tree loss, poor farming, and too much water use.
task response
Explain each main idea a bit more. Show how each cause leads to desert land.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, but some links between ideas are weak.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. The car topic feels a bit long before it connects to desertification.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words carefully, like first, also, as a result, and finally.
task response
You answer both the causes and the solutions.
task response
You give real examples about water waste and public action.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas follow a clear order.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • desertification
  • environmental
  • threatening
  • rural
  • expansion
  • desert
  • land
  • previously
  • causes
  • solve
  • deforestation
  • poor
  • land use
  • cutting down trees
  • soil
  • dry
  • farming methods
  • crop rotation
  • nutrients
  • climate change
  • temperatures
  • rainfall
  • plants
  • healthy
  • conditions
  • grazing
  • animals
  • green
  • protect
  • erosion
  • blown away
  • washed away
  • urban development
  • building
  • houses
  • roads
  • loss
  • green areas
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