IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many societies, the number of people living alone is increasing. Why is this happening, and is it a positive or negative development?

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It has become very common that
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays prefer to stay alone, which brings attention to the reasons behind it and the
impacts
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impact
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 it is
putting
Verb problem
having
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 on personal relationships and society. I think
this
Linking Words
 trend is creating many problems like high divorce rates and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 towards
community
Correct article usage
the community
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. One major reason behind
this
Linking Words
 lifestyle is migration to other cities and countries for better opportunities. It can be seen that
Use synonyms
people when
Correct word order
when people
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 get better job opportunities ,
tend
Correct pronoun usage
they tend
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 to move to bigger cities or countries, ends up staying
their
Use the right word
there
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 for
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
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 period of time.
Linking Words
consequently
Capitalize the word
Consequently
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,
connection
Correct article usage
the connection
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 with families and friends starts to get losen and they get used to
live
Wrong verb form
living
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 the way they are living. Another thing is that young
people
Use synonyms
 these days like their personal privacy and do not like to
invade their personal space
Correct word order
have their personal space invaded,
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 even by their parents.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they tend to stay in their comfort zone, denying
to involve
Replace the word
involvement
 with
outer
Correct article usage
the outer
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 world and
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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 their lives
by
Change preposition
apply
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living alone.
This
Linking Words
 creates many issues in their lives
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 one main issue that has been significantly surpassing is increased
ddivorce
Correct your spelling
divorce
 rates. Distance
realtionships
Correct your spelling
relationships
 among couples is reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 misunderstandings and weaken the bonds between two
people
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, they end up getting separated
fro m
Correct your spelling
from
 each other.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a person who is
self-centered
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self-centred
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 and
hasitant
Correct your spelling
hesitant
 to meet with other
people
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
realize
Change the verb form
realises
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 less of his
responsibilties
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and avoid to build bonds with others.
For example
Linking Words
, volunteer work is less seen these days because the young generation is more occupied
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their own life and privacy. In conclusion, certain habits and desires are making
people
Use synonyms
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
 and comfortable in their zone that they are ignoring the importance of loved ones and society in their lives

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task response
Score: 5. Your main answer is clear, but some ideas are too general. Explain more clearly how each reason leads to more people living alone. For example, moving for work may mean a person cannot live with parents, a husband or wife, or friends.
task response
Be careful with the word “alone”. Living alone does not always mean being lonely, self-centered, or not caring about others. Your points about divorce and volunteer work need stronger support.
task response
Give one fuller example. For instance: a young worker moves to a big city for a job, cannot afford a large home, and rents a small flat alone. This makes your point more real and clear.
task response
Your ending repeats the negative view, but it does not fully sum up the two main reasons. Name the reasons again in a short, direct way.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. The order is easy to follow, but some sentences are hard to understand because they are very long or not complete. Use shorter sentences with one main idea in each.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first sentence of each body part more direct. For example: “There are two main reasons why more people live alone.” Then give the first reason.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are not clear. “This creates many issues” does not say exactly what “This” means. Say “Living far from a husband or wife can create problems in a marriage” instead.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words only when they show a clear link. You can use: “First”, “Second”, “As a result”, “However”, and “For example”.
task response
You answer both parts: you give reasons for living alone and say it is a negative change.
task response
You use clear main ideas, such as moving for work, wanting privacy, divorce, and less work for the community.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear beginning, two body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “Therefore”, “Hence”, “Additionally”, and “For example”.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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