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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, more people are choosing to live alone instead of with their families.

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In recent years, it has become increasing number of
people
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 are
chosing
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choosing
 to live independently rather than with their families.
While
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this
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 trend brings a number of
signifact benifits
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significant benefits
, it
also
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 presents several potential
darwbacks
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drawbacks
.
This
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essey
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essay
 will examine
bothe
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both
 sides before concluding
wheter
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whether
 the advantages
outwiegh
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outweigh
 the disadvantages. On the one hand, living alone provides individuals with greater independence and freedom.
People
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 are able to make their own decisions without having to consider the preferences of other family members.
As a result
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, they can develop essential life skills
such
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 as cooking, budgeting, and time management. Another important advantage is that living independently often creates a peaceful environment, allowing
people
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 to focus on their studies or careers without unnecessary distractions.
For example
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, many university students and young professionals find it easier to achieve their goals when they have their own personal space.
On the other hand
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, living alone can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. Without regular interaction with family members, some
people
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 may experience stress or emotional problems, particularly during difficult periods.
Furthermore
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, living independently is usually more expensive because individuals must pay all household expenses, including rent, utility bills, and food costs, by themselves.
This
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 financial burden can make it difficult to save money for the future. In conclusion,
while
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 living alone allows
people
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 to enjoy greater independence and develop essential life skills, I believe these benefits are outweighed by the disadvantages. The negative effects on mental well-being and the increased financial burden make
this
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 trend less beneficial
overall
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.

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task response
Score: 7. Your answer stays on the topic and gives a clear opinion. To get a higher score, explain why the bad points are more important than the good points in more detail.
task response
Your example about students and young workers is good, but it is quite general. Add one short, real-life style example, such as a young worker who pays high rent and then cannot save money.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 7. The order of ideas is easy to follow. To improve, link each point more closely to your final view. For example, after the cost point, say clearly that this is why living alone may not be good in the long term.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part has two ideas, which is good. However, you could make the links inside each part smoother by adding short links such as “This means that...” or “Because of this...”
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give a clear final view: the bad points are stronger.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: freedom and life skills on one side; loneliness and cost on the other.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: start, two main parts, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “Furthermore”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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